Photo courtesy of Storybook Wedding Photography

It’s getting close to “fireworks day” and it reminds me how much I like using sparklers for the first dance, last dance or the “Grand Exit” at weddings.

If you are having your wedding or reception in a city that allows fireworks, consider using sparklers to create an inexpensive “Wow Factor” for  your special day.

I asked Shandelle Wertz Girdley, owner of BuySparklers.com to share her best tips on how to use sparklers in a safe and fabulous way for weddings. Here are her words of wisdom:

“1 – Check with your venue first.
Please check with your venue coordinator to see if sparklers are permitted. Most locations won’t mind you using them outside, but it’s best to ask first!

2 – Buy quality metal wire sparklers.
Do not buy bamboo stick sparklers. Bamboo sparklers produce significantly more smoke and will ash off as they burn down the stick. They can be very messy and I don’t recommend them for formal occasions.

3 – Use helpers!
Coach a team of helpers to hand out and light sparklers. Give them BBQ lighters to light the first few sparklers. Then tell them to show people in the crowd how to dip unlit sparklers into lit sparklers. ALSO coach them to hold sparklers UP and AWAY.

4 – Create and control the moment.
If doing a “tunnel” of sparklers for the bride and groom to run under for their exit…keep the crowd a little more than an arm’s length away. It’s more for show than to literally make a tunnel. A wide tunnel also gives the bride & groom enough room to “dash” out without bending over. This will help you get great pictures.

5 – Consult your photographer.
Let your photographer know when and where you are using sparklers. They can be ready to capture the moment…or to stage a few pictures just before or just after the big exit.

6 – Dispose properly.
Use your team of helpers to make sure sparklers are properly disposed. The metal wires will be hot for a few minutes after burning. You should have metal buckets or trays nearby filled with water or sand so the wires can be discarded safely.”

Thanks Shandelle for offering your helpful hints plus (BIG PLUS!) many thanks for offering BridesKnowBest readers a 10% discount on BuySparklers.com for an entire (not including shipping) order. Be sure to use Coupon Code: “10Kathy” to get this great offer.

The BuySparklers website is filled with many types of sparklers, including heart shaped and extra long options. Shandelle mentioned to be sure to order early. Sparklers can only be shipped via Ground Services (because they are flammable, they can’t go on airplanes for overnight or expedited delivery), so don’t wait until the last minute!

With or without fireworks, let yourself “sparkle plenty” on your wedding day!

Top photo: courtesy of Storybook Wedding Photography

Middle photo: courtesy of Advance-Images Photography and BuySparklers.com

Emily Taffel-Schaper and Fritz Schaper

With a price-tag of  $20,000 for the average American wedding, I am ecstatic to receive emails from creative brides who create fabulous celebrations for far less.  Emily Taffel-Schaper sent in the following article about her wedding with loads (I mean loads!) of valuable ideas on how she executed her wedding for $3,500. Emily, her husband Fritz Schaper, and her 125 guests had a wonderful time and there are no leftover bills endangering their newlywed bliss status. Here is Emily’s story in her own words…

“When my husband and I got engaged I was thrilled, but the excitement was tempered because neither of our families were in the position to help us pay for a wedding.  I didn’t want to give up the wedding I had dreamed of, so with a little creativity, a year of smart shopping and a lot of help from our friends and family, we had a wedding that looked like a million bucks, but only cost $3,500 (not including the rings).

It all started with a donation of invitations from my Aunt’s shop, Pushing the Envelope CT.  They did our invites for free and that sparked us to see what else we could find discounts on.

After several trips to bridal stores that left me in tears over the prices, I found a local boutique that rented gowns. They had brand new, never before worn dresses and offered a free altering service as well. I got married in my dream gown for only $300 and bought my veil and tiara ($40) to have something to remember it by.  My husband picked up his tux at AfterHours Formal wear for $150.

The ceremony and reception were held at Shall We Dance, a ballroom dancing hall in Deerfield Beach, Florida.  Everyone thought we were crazy to book a “hole-in-the-wall” location, situated above a golf shop, but by choosing “off-the-beaten-path” and trusting in our ability to make it work, we got floor-to-ceiling windows lining each wall, hardwood floors and a location equipped with tables, chairs and a full kitchen for only $500 (5 hours plus 3 hours of set-up time).  Linens and chair sashes came from Fabulous Events, and were almost our most expensive purchase at $650.

We covered the ceiling with twinkle lights and tulle, bought at an after-Christmas garage sale for $10.00.  A friend had pictures of us blown up to poster size, to cover some ugly framed paintings on the dance  studio’s walls. It really personalized the location for us.

Friends decorated our chuppah with silk flowers, tulle, twinkle lights and hanging crystals. The poles came from Home Depot and the buckets that housed them were found for free from a local ice cream shop, Kilwin’s. Total cost: $30.

Roses for the bouquets and centerpieces were bought from a local farm. We bartered our time in exchange for a discount; once a month we helped them tend to the garden and they let us buy 200 roses for only $200.  

Our centerpieces were branches collected in the woods behind a friend’s house, sprayed gold, placed in dollar store vases and accessorized with leftover roses from the bouquets.  My brother folded 100 origami birds for us as well. We sprinkled dollar store gold glitter on the tables, surrounded the centerpieces with candles and adorned each window with hanging candle-holders we created using ribbon hot glued on.  Tea lights were bought for $2 per 50 at Party City.  By turning off the overhead lights and just using the twinkle lights and candles, the entire room was transformed. Total cost: $150.

We had a candy buffet for our favors. Chinese food containers from Oriental Trading cost less than $10 for 100 and we sourced candy from many locations – local grocery stores, ethnic markets and even the Cracker Barrel. Total cost: $100.

Food & drinks were a little harder, but after researching caterers, we hired a chef/friend.  We held the wedding late, 7 p.m. on a Saturday, in order to serve a buffet of just hors d’ouevres and desserts, which kept the cost down. We hired another friend to bartend, bought bulk soda and water at Costco, negotiated with a local liquor company on bulk wine and beer and had a “Stock our Wedding” party for liquor.  We hold a ton of parties for our friends and normally we provide the food and wine, but this time, we asked everyone to please bring 1-2 bottles of liquor that could be used at our wedding. We had a great BBQ dinner and thanks to our friends, stocked our wedding bar.  Total out-of-pocket cost for food and drink at our wedding : $800.

No one missed the full dinner service since the entire night was spent on the dance floor.  We negotiated with a local DJ company and they exchanged their services at a discount rate provided they were able to put out flyers at the dance school. Total cost: $200 for 4 hours.

After all that,  we  had some money leftover to buy groomsmen and bridesmaid gifts from etsy.com.  It was a magical evening that I wouldn’t have done differently, even if we had a million dollars to spend.

Planning our wedding had an added benefit; it motivated me to start a business, Pretty. Useful. Stuff., where I work with brides to help them create one-of-a-kind weddings and events of their own, without breaking the bank to do it.”

Thanks Emily for sharing all your useful ideas. We’d love to showcase the wisdom and creativity of other Experienced Brides as well. Email us your pictures and posts at info@bridesknowbest.com.

True confessions…

I have made every excuse possible not to write part two of our wedding budget discussion, which began in our last post… A wedding budget lesson from a hotline client. So if a 30-year veteran in the wedding industry doesn’t like talking about preparing for budget conversations, how could any newly engaged couple be enthusiastic about the prospect?? Unfortunately, the reality is you need to have a clear idea about what resources you will have to celebrate your marriage before you start making plans for those festivities or… you could likely end up in a drama similar to the bride in part one!  Here are some ideas and steps for wedding budget preparations:

First step: Talk to your fiancée about what they envision about your wedding celebration. If he or she tells you that they have always wanted a ceremony on a bluff for just the two of you, a minister and no other guests, then you are looking at a whole different ballgame than someone who says they have always dreamed of a wedding with their entire extended family of 300 attending.

Tell each other your dreams and your fears about planning your wedding and talk frankly about what each of you individually can and want to contribute to the festivities. Do not let your marriage celebration ruin your financial future, and therefore risk a stable beginning of wedded bliss.

Develop some plan for a wedding that is being financed by the both of you and no one else. Therefore, when you talk to your parents or other possible contributors, you go into that conversation knowing that you have a plan B that the two of you can do all on your own. And believe me, sometimes when you see the strings attached to other people’s contributions, plan B may soon look like your dream wedding!

Second Step: Get some realistic pricing of local wedding vendors. Don’t start having budget conversations with Mom and Dad before having a good idea as to what things cost. I encourage couples to walk at least two Bridal Faires just to collect ideas and pricing. I make my couples pinky swear that they will book no vendors at a Bridal Faire – you can get so caught up in the hype before you really have time to do some price and quality comparison and of course, before you know what you can afford to book. Consider Bridal Faires as a place to collect data – just the facts… no bookings! Pinky swear!

After the Bridal Faire field trip, let your fingers take a walk on the Internet. There are so many resources online and you don’t want to miss all that is at your fingertips. Be sure to match your research with the city you plan on having your celebration in. I had one bride that was looking at venue pricing in Missouri when she made out a budget for her California wedding. Silly, silly, silly bride (she knows I love her!!!!) If you Google just “weddings” it will make your head spin – so start with more specific searches like New York City Wedding Venues, or Bend, Oregon Wedding Flowers, etc..

A one hour budget consultation with a wedding coordinator in your area is a wise investment. Even if you do not hire them to help execute your wedding, a budget conversation can be very helpful in getting your wedding planning started in a fiscally responsible way. Email the coordinator a list of questions you have or what you want to achieve in the consultation so they can prepare for a meeting that has personal value to you.

After your conversation with your betrothed and your pricing research, it may be time to have a sit down with the parents. But before you start a conversation with anyone else about contributing to your wedding budget, remember this harsh but true fact: NO ONE OWES YOU A WEDDING CELEBRATION –NO ONE. Parents owe you a safe and sound upbringing but they don’t owe you a party. If you walk into a budget conversation with logic, humility and gratitude the conversation is going to be a more honest exchange.

Economically speaking, we have just survived one of the worse years this nation has ever seen and many parents have lost their jobs, their retirement funds, and/or they are feeling (rationally) financially very vulnerable. People over 45 have been impacted more than any other age group in this volatile economic climate so please be conscious that people you expect to be able to contribute to your wedding may not be able to. You don’t want anyone to feel guilty that they cannot help you with financing your celebration.

With that said, are you ready to talk to Mom and Dad?

Here are a few more tips:

Talk first to whomever is the easiest to have a real conversation with; if your Mom is the voice for your parent twosome, talk to her first. Tell her that you do not want to assume that they are planning to contribute to your wedding costs, but you need to know if they do plan on contributing, and if so, what they are planning on contributing. Tell her you want to have a clear picture of what resources you have to plan your wedding with. If they say “Honey I’m sorry we just can’t…” then there is no need for a Budget Powwow. However, if they say, “well sure we plan on contributing”, then ask if they would come over for brunch (if geographically possible) so you all can have a real conversation about what they want to contribute to (the whole shebang or just your wedding dress?) and the dollar amount they want to offer. Tell them you want to be very responsible and respectful with everyone’s money and expectations.  Have your fiancé have the same initial conversation with his/her family. I highly recommend that when you get with individual contributors that these are separate conversations – you don’t have both sets of parent or families at these initial budget talks.

I had one bride who emailed her parents and admitted to them she was too nervous to initiate the conversation in person, so wanted to email them her query so they had time to really think about what would be the right answer for them without the pressure of her big blue eyes. Her parents appreciated the humor and the thoughtfulness in the way she worded her email. She wrote that she wanted them to know that whatever their answer, the most important thing is that she have their emotional support to make her marriage as happy as theirs.  She got it. And her wedding planning, wedding and marriage reflected that she got what was important.

Now parents are like anybody else and often are very vague about specific dollar amounts. If Dad says, “we’ll pay for the reception,” you need to ask him for specifics, “Does that mean food, drink, flowers and DJ? And do you want me to share some ideas on what those costs might be? Dad, I just want to be sure I don’t exceed your budget for my reception.”

Be absolutely certain that you know whom they feel must be invited to your wedding or any other expectations they have about your wedding so you can address those appropriately (“no mom, we are not going to invite your hairdresser’s cousins; I want to know everyone who attends my wedding.”).  There are always strings (or at least expectations) connected to any contribution to your wedding, so know what they are before you accept the contribution.

When you have a clear idea as to what people are contributing, you might want to take them to the vendors you are considering or at least send them info on real costs. I had one father who said he would only spend $5,000 on a caterer for his daughter’s wedding but when he met a specific caterer, he wanted to spend so much more (actually 10 times more!) and believe me, he could afford it! Giving your parent’s a sense of involvement in the wedding planning is a gift and recognizes their contribution to not only your wedding, but to your upbringing. And they’ll get a more realistic idea of what things cost.

Remind yourself to stay in a place of gratitude when you are spending other people’s money! I was going through my 96-year-old grandfather’s mementos the other day and he still has a thank you letter I wrote to my grandparents for purchasing my wedding dress and jewelry. In this letter I also asked them to participate by reading my favorite bible verse at my wedding (Corinthians 13:4-7). He told me the letter is one of his most prized possessions. He felt so included in my wedding.

Whatever your budget turns out to be, know that if there is love between the two of you, your wedding can be a beautiful celebration! One of my favorite weddings I helped with cost a total of $500! Yes, I will blog about it. Just know what $$$ you have before you begin the fun of planning your wedding. It really can be fun with any budget! I truly believe it doesn’t matter how many zeros are in a wedding budget but it clearly matters how much heart is put into the wedding planning. I hope you’ll visit BKB often to get ideas on how to plan true celebrations of love.

Here are some more budget resources for you:

Websites: Cost of Wedding (has a good simple checklist to look at)

Wedding Planning on a Budget (has a free download of a wedding budget worksheet that is worth taking a peek at!)

Book: Wedding Budget Made Easy (sounds good huh?) go to Amazon and search on wedding budget- they’ll be lots of books there for you to consider.

I received an email from a bride, who I will call, Astrid (not her real name). She asked for a wedding hotline consultation to be arranged as soon as possible – so we spoke just 10 minutes after I received her email. Astrid began the conversation by saying,  “I feel like such a fool! It’s embarrassing to even share my situation with you.” After I assured her that I had “been there, done that,”  and I was clearly not in a position to judge anybody on what they do under the influence of WOD (Wedding Obsessive Disorder ), she felt comfortable enough to tell me her story.

Astrid waited 5 years for her fiancé to pop the question so she didn’t wait a second to start planning her wedding.  When she and her fiancé went over to her parent’s house to show off her ring and discuss her desire to get married as soon as possible, her father told her that he would pay for the wedding and in fact would set up a checking account for her to use. The next day Astrid and her dad went to the bank and opened up a wedding account. Knowing that her Dad had made an initial deposit of  $10,000 in this account, she immediately started shopping.

In less than a week, Astrid made a deposit on a $3,000 wedding dress, signed contracts with a popular wedding venue, a photographer, and a floral designer, and had sent a check off to the most popular DJ in her city.

Thinking she had done a great job at getting all her priority wedding services set up, Astrid gave herself a pat on the back and then called her father to ask him to deposit more money in the wedding account. Here it comes…(are you feeling a knot in your stomach?)…   When her dad heard her request, he said, “What?! You need more money? That is all the money I am going to give you for the wedding. That is all I can afford!  I can’t give you a dime more.” Astrid’s dad was very upset because now he felt bad that he couldn’t give his daughter the wedding of her dreams, and he had no idea what these services would cost. Astrid was scared beyond measure because she had signed contracts for what totaled to be a minimum of  $25,000. Her assumption that the $10,000 her father deposited in her wedding account, would be the first of several deposits, had put her in a very liable position.

Astrid and I had our work cut out for us to figure out what her next steps would be.  Suffice it to say, we had many phone calls with her vendors. With some vendors, we were able to renegotiate contracts and others we chose to cancel, and one deposit was lost (unless they can re-book her wedding date, then they say they will give her 50% of her deposit back).  I want to be clear that none of these vendors had to negotiate with us, most did, but we were lucky!

The lesson to learn from Astrid’s story is simple; do not assume anything when it comes to someone contributing money to your wedding budget. Astrid’s father wanted her little girl to have a dream wedding but he really thought that she could make that happen with his $10,000. Astrid assumed when her Dad said, “I will pay for your wedding” that she had carte blanche on how much she could spend. Assumptions can be deadly!

As scary as a very clear budget conversation is, it must be done. You want to be grateful for any amount of money that people are contributing to your wedding and you don’t want them to feel guilty that they cannot afford more. No one owes you money towards your wedding, but if they are helping financially, you need to know exactly what they are contributing and what they expect you to do (or be able to do) with their contribution.  Astrid said, “I’m going to have the words “No assumptions” tattooed on my butt!”  In our next post, we will talk about how to prepare for  wedding budget talks before you start spending money.

PS: Astrid is going to have a wonderful wedding while honoring a $10,000 budget. She is marrying the “man of her dreams” and she has parents that treasure her. What could be better than that?

Now clearly Evites are not for everyone, but for those who are watching their budgets, or are truly eco-conscious and planning a green wedding, Evites might be the perfect option.

There are many websites that can help design an email invitation and many have great systems to help keep track on who has and has not responded to your kind invitation. One site I really like is Myinvitationlink. This site offers many options to create highly personalized engagement party invites, save the date, wedding invitations, wedding announcements and thank you cards. They make it easy to design a “love story” pictorial including many pictures of the bridal couple with beautiful musical accompaniment and personalized text. This is a great way to share pictures with guests before and after the wedding. Green, inexpensive, personal and creative, what can be better than that?

Now some of us have a few friends or great grandparent’s that don’t own a computer, so you may want to consider creating a few paper invitations for those you think need to be mailed an invitation. Several of the email invitation companies also offer print-ready templates, so you can email some of your invitations and mail others. Some actually will print and mail them for you! Think of your paper invites as a supplement to your email invites or vice versa, which ever works best for you.

Evites may not feel right to you for your actual wedding invitation but consider them for all the events surrounding your wedding. Bachelorette parties, Bridal party get-togethers, rehearsal dinner, or a post wedding brunch all need invites – you may want to take a peek at the following sites to decide if emailed invitations may be right for these ancillary events. Whatever you choose, that’s up to you!  Take a peek at these sites and see what you think.

My invitation link

Paperless Post

Greenvelope

OurWedvite.com (does Evites and has print-ready templates as well)

Pingg

Evite:  (free but comes with advertisements on side of invites)

Question for those newlyweds out there – Did you email any of your invitations? Tell us how that worked for you. We really want to know!

Use pictures as background on your table numbers

There are many ways to personalize a wedding. One very popular idea is to use pictures as part of your wedding décor. Most couples find that using pictures as focal points at their wedding and reception will not only make their “wedding-scape” truly one of a kind, but really helps break the ice between guests. Pictures bring back fond memories for guests to share with one another, relieving that awkward silence between people that only have the bride and groom as their common denominator. And the cherry on top of this idea? This couldn’t be a more budget friendly idea; you have the pictures and even if you buy new frames, you can use them for your home décor after the wedding. Personal, budget and green friendly; how much better can a decorating idea get? Here are a few ways to incorporate pictures in your celebration:

Show off your parents' cake cutting pictures on your cake table

Guest book – Instead of a traditional guest book, have your guests sign the matting that surrounds your engagement portrait.
Altar pictures- Place small pictures of your dearly departed, (or those who cannot attend your wedding), on the unity candle, communion or ceremony table.
Personal jewelry –A locket with your beloved’s picture in it is a nice accessory to wear when you say, “I do”.
Reception entrance – Display pictures at the entryway of your reception, either on stand-alone easels or on your placecard table.
Tabletop centerpieces – Set three or four pictures of various sizes on each dining table. Make sure you include baby pictures and those awkward pre-teen pix as well as recent couple shots of the two of you in the mix. Add votive candles and scatter flower petals, some decorative stones, crystals, or mirror discs around the pictures and you have yourself some great conversation pieces. People will walk around to see what pictures are featured at each table.
Head table –A framed picture of each attendant (hopefully you are in the picture with them as well) at their place-setting is a very special way to designate who sits where at the head table.
Cake table- Flank your wedding cake with pictures of your parents and grandparents cutting their wedding cake.
Entertainment – Many photographers and videographers have the ability to produce and present a video or slide show of your love story. If you or friends are on the creative side, try it DIY style and have your masterpiece shown at your reception.

Last but not least, be sure to include a picture from the wedding in your thank you cards. From beginning to the end, pictures can add so much to your wedding experience.

Question for our Experienced Brides: How did you use pictures in your wedding decor? Brides2Be want to know!

Walk into most any department in Wal-Mart and you can find something that may be useful for a bride and groom and generally speaking, you aren’t going to find it cheaper anywhere else. In their jewelry department you will find a few inexpensive engagement rings and wedding bands and a generous selection of accessories and gifts for an entire bridal party. Cubic Zirconia tennis bracelets, simple anklets, heart shaped and “Journey” necklaces with earrings to match, will accessorize bridesmaids well without emptying anyone’s piggy bank.

In the party section you will find several rows of typical wedding supplies for much lower prices than most specialty stores. A good assortment of Favor boxes at 50 for $12 can easily be filled with a sweet treat found in their candy department. Want the kiddies-at-heart to have bubbles? 100 Ring Bubble Wand Favors are only $15. For the computer savvy they have invitation kits at unbelievable prices and for the home bakers they have most anything you would need to make your own wedding cake or cupcake tower.

If you venture into departments not often thought of as wedding related, you will locate some great “finds” for a celebration. Do some price comparison and you may find that it is actually cheaper to buy whole sets of dinnerware than to rent them from a typical party rental company. On a recent visit to a Wal-Mart store, I found glass dinner plates for $1.50 each. The nice thing about purchasing instead of renting is you will have a large collection for all your future celebrations.

Decorating weddings with $5 vases, filling them with homegrown flowers and surrounding the vases with $1 votive candles can make for simple and inexpensive centerpieces. Purchasing a gazebo or an arbor in their garden department will allow you to reuse it in your own backyard after it has been the centerpiece of your ceremony. You can also get multi-use out of other special décor like lanterns, firepits or outdoor furniture that help create a very chic and contemporary styled wedding.

Right now, when the Christmas department is just being set up, it’s a great time to look at white lights to swag on your head and cake tables (underneath tulle or iridescent material). Or purchase Christmas ornaments and pile them in a crystal bowl for an easy centerpiece anytime of the year.

Don’t forget the personal health and hygiene departments to make “Wedding Day Emergency Kits.” Band-Aids, Tums, Aspirins, mouthwash, hairspray, deodorant, nail repair kits, Kleenex and smelling salts are just a few of the items key to a good emergency kit. Add energy bars, nuts and bottled water from the grocery section and stain removers from the laundry supplies and your kit will begin to look like a pro made it.

If your schedule is crazy and feet are sore, do some of your shopping on-line at www.walmart.com. By creatively thinking outside the box – you can come up with a Wal-Mart Wedding that won’t break the bank but can still be a very special celebration with all the trimmings!

Some of my favorite venues for Fall weddings are wineries, apple orchards, farms and rustic looking clubhouses with big old fireplaces.

Natural decorations that show off the beauty of the season can be inexpensive and stunning. Outlining a processional aisle with autumn leaves easily sets the tone for a fall wedding and can cost you nothing if you have your cadre of friends collect them the month before your wedding. Remember Runaway Bride when Julia Roberts finally married Richard Gere? The only decoration at that ceremony was a hill full of beautiful fall leaves.

I love to decorate with barrels of apples and apples as place-card or candle holders. And I am nuts about nuts in table-scapes. Decorative bowls of nuts (with nutcrackers handy) on each guest table, tall vases filled with nuts and topped with fall flowers, or nuts just strewn around a centerpiece provide some great accents. My girlfriend had a chocolate iced wedding cake decorated with maple candy leaves and marzipan fruit. The cake was surrounded by a variety of nuts and candles on a gold tablecloth; it was…fabulous.

I went to a wedding last year that served hot apple cider with cinnamon sticks and also had hot buttered rum drinks. At the end of the evening they handed out waxed bags filled with warm mini apple cinnamon doughnuts for the trip home. I am certain no doughnuts actually made it all the way home! At another wedding they had caramel apples as their wedding favors – what could remind you of a fall day more than a caramel apple?

Tell us about your Autumn themed wedding. We’d loved to hear your creative ideas!

The most amazing day with the most amazing man…..

By Samantha Lewis

After Matt had asked my two children, Nathan, age 12 and Katie, age 10, for their permission to marry me and had received enthusiastic reactions, wedding plans began. Discussions ran from a quick trip to Lake Tahoe in Nevada with the children for a small lakeside wedding to a more formalized affair with 150 of our closest friends. In creating a guest list, it occurred to us that our families alone accounted for two dozen attendees….

Since I had experienced a traditional wedding, my priorities shifted to my future husband’s ideal wedding. He had made it clear that gift registries and seating charts were not in his future wedding plans and when asked what he wanted, he jokingly answered, “just you, the kids and our families.” We immediately began planning our surprise wedding to take place in less than two weeks at our family’s “Engagement Celebration Barbecue.” The only other people who knew of our secret wedding plans were my children, our minister and my dear friend, Leslie, who took the photographs.

When people talk about a wedding taking 12 months or 18 months to plan…. well, all I can say is that ours was done in less than two weeks and it was amazing! Matt and I raced off to the florist and bakery and placed orders. While Matt and Nathan were fitted for tuxedos, my daughter and I found perfect dresses – off the rack! My dear friend agreed to photograph our wedding and since Matt is an audiophile, music was no problem. We live near the ocean and it was instantly agreed that our backdrop would be the local harbor. We met with our minister, wrote our vows, double swore the children to secrecy and invited our families to a casual backyard Barbecue- “to celebrate our engagement”.

Family began arriving, some driving as many as 2-1/2 hours…. all dressed in shorts and summer dresses for the casual barbecue. My mother, who was quite psychic, asked my son upon entering the front door, “Are we attending a wedding today?” to which my son replied, “No way, Mimi!” After a couple of hours of chatting and hors d’oeuvres in the backyard, Matt and Nathan disappeared upstairs for a quick change into tuxedos while my daughter and I retreated upstairs to put on gowns. Matt and Nathan reappeared downstairs and inquired, “Who wants to go to a wedding?” to which there were enthusiastic shouts and screams of delight. Matt herded everyone into cars to caravan to the harbor while my three sisters and Matt’s two sisters raced upstairs to congratulate, hug and apply the typical last minute girly-touches to make-up, hair and dresses. We then proceeded to the harbor.

The day was amazing….. clear, light breezes and warm sun – the sounds of sailboat lines clanging against the posts were like our own wind chime orchestra. Vows were said to one another and to the children, photographs were taken and everyone returned back to our home for a wonderful backyard Barbecue of Shish Kabobs! I wouldn’t do one single thing differently.

BKB: Isn’t that a great story? Do you have another Surprise Wedding to share with us? Please do!

Mary and Jim surround themselves with “Foodies and Winos”. No one can really cook better than their own friends and they all love to show off their culinary skills.

So when Mary and Jim decided to say “I do” they asked their friends to leave the gravy boats at Macy’s and instead, “gift” them, with their favorite recipe and a plate of it to share at their wedding reception. On the response card their friends told them what they were bringing and sent a copy of the recipe. Three friends coordinated what they would need to set up a beautiful buffet that would not only show off each dish but would keep all the food at the right temperature (not only for flavor but to avoid food poisoning). They prepared a silver framed label for each dish that featured the name of the recipe and cook.

The Bride and Groom chose amazing wine to share with their guests, added a few of their own favorite recipes to the buffet and hired a “Day-of coordinator” and some party staff so they could truly enjoy their celebration. The reception was a huge success and the food… let’s just say it was one culinary orgasm after another…

For a thank you gift, they sent their guests a “Wedding Cookbook,” a collection of recipes from their potluck reception. The cookbook included wedding pictures and a heart-felt thank you letter to their treasured friends.

This was such a special wedding that perfectly reflected the bride and groom and their guests. What could be better than that?

Please share your ideas on how to create a potluck worthy of a wedding day!