Archive for the ‘What matters most’ Category

Will your wedding reflect the best of your character?

Sunday, May 23rd, 2010

A few days ago I was watching a wedding video on-line and the officiant said to the couple at the altar: “may this celebration reflect your character.” Wow! I have thought about those six amazing words  for the last three days.  For those who are preparing for the big day, take time to really look at your plans and ask yourself: “Will our wedding reflect our character?” Maybe, just maybe, you’ll find that your wedding planning has become focused more on the color of your napkins, than on the two of you celebrating your union, surrounded by those you love. I might suggest you add a few words and ask yourself another question: “Will our wedding reflect the best of our character?”

You and your guests will cherish the memory of a heartfelt ceremony so much more than a vague memory (if any) of the floral centerpieces. Your beloved will remember the letter you have had hand-delivered (just before the wedding begins) that shares your heart and why you love him/her so much; they will likely not remember anything about the accessories you wear. Your parents will never forget the last words you say to them before you walk down the aisle. Make sure they are something like “I love you and thank you”

At your reception, guests will remember how joy-filled you are or not. If you are pouting over the overdone chicken and forget that you can never get this moment back… you’ve not only ruined the celebration for yourself, but for everyone around you. It is your energy, not the chicken, that will make or break your celebration.

The frills of most weddings are nice, but the character of your celebration is what can create a heart-song for you and all those lucky enough to attend your true celebration of love. So in the midst of your wedding planning, just keep on asking yourself: “Will our wedding reflect the best of our character?” If you do this, you will have a day that all will remember with a smile on their face and joy in their heart.

Read a story about one bride who truly lived this advice: My Favorite Bride and you also may enjoy Be in the Moment for some tips on how to have a wonderful wedding day.

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Posted in Personalizing your wedding, Wedding Planning Tips, What matters most | 5 Comments »

My Favorite Bride

Saturday, September 5th, 2009
Image created by: Emin Kuliyev, Emin Photography, http://www.em34.com/

Image by: Emin Kuliyev, Emin Photography www.em34.com

As a Wedding Coordinator, probably the most common question I am asked is: “Will you tell me about the greatest wedding you’ve ever seen?” I think most people are expecting me to talk about the couture designed gowns and Waterford crystal favors – the limitless budget weddings. But the greatest wedding I’ve ever had the honor of experiencing, was Suzie and Bob’s wedding.

On Suzie and Bob’s wedding day, it rained and rained. In fact it was one of the worse floods in the history of their hometown. Suzie and Bob knew most of their 130 guests couldn’t get to the church (only 30 made it) and the caterer, photographer and DJ had all called saying it would take a miracle for them to get to their wedding site (none were able to). But Suzie and Bob decided to go ahead with their evening wedding.

The thirty guests, minister and groom waited for two hours before Suzie’s Limo arrived. Knowing where Suzie came from, I still believe her Chauffeur had to be Noah to get her there. When Suzie hurriedly got out of the car, a bicyclist rode by and sprayed a muddy mist all over her wedding dress. Personally I am amazed my heart stayed in my chest when I saw this happen. I couldn’t imagine how Suzie could still be standing. As Suzie walked toward me I thought to myself, how am I ever going to get this mud off and not ruin this dress? Out loud I said, “Suzie, let’s go into the bathroom and you can dry your hair and touch up your make-up while I clean up your dress.” Suzie took my hands and smiled, “I’ve waited three years to marry this man, I’m not waiting a minute longer.”

Suzie proceeded to the double door entrance of the sanctuary and yelled “Dad, come and get me!” Everyone clapped when they heard Suzie’s voice. Her Dad came quickly down the aisle as the bridesmaids, groomsmen, minister and groom went and stood on the altar. With no music, nor wedding party processional, Suzie, escorted by her dad, walked up the aisle, muddied dress and all. When she got to the very first aisle that had any guests in it, Suzie looked around at all her guests and said “you made it, I can’t believe you all made it, thank you so much!” Tears started to roll, but then we all “lost it” when Suzie got the first glimpse of her soon-to-be husband. She looked at Bob and then turned to her guests and said “I am the luckiest woman in the whole wide world!”

Suzie is the most amazing bride I’ve ever had the honor to meet and experience. She got it. She knew it wasn’t about the dress, the photographer, the DJ, and yes, not even about the fabulous wedding coordinator. Suzie knew that a wedding is about having the people you love surround you when you get to marry the person you will be honored to call your husband or wife. Bring this wisdom to your wedding day, and you will create a moment that you and your guests will never forget.

I wish you all true celebrations of love

P.S. Many years later, Suzie and Bob have three kids. When they talk about their wedding, they say it was the most beautiful day in their lives.

Do you have a story about a Bride who filled the room with joy? Please share!

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Posted in Real Weddings, Wedding Planning Tips, What matters most | 7 Comments »

Keeping Your Wedding Day filled with Joy When You Have Lost a Loved One

Saturday, September 5th, 2009

Somebody you consider dear has passed; how do you honor them without minimizing the joy of your wedding day? I know these emotions. My husband died just a few years before his son’s wedding and we all were missing his presence during this milestone occasion.

When it came time for toasts, the Best Man (a wonderful wonderful person!) honored my husband, maybe even a little more than he honored the Bride and Groom. Honestly, it was too too much, and left many of us in tears; not happy tears, sad tears. I personally had to leave the reception to dry my tears and to try to shift back to a joyous disposition. It was such a sweet gesture by the best man, but truly not appropriate for a wedding day celebration.

This may sound harsh, but your wedding is not your loved one’s memorial service. This is a joyous occasion. You deserve to be happy and my gut tells me that your loved ones would not want you to shed one tear about them on your wedding day. Life is filled with much sadness so protect the good moments when you can.

So how do you respectfully acknowledge a love one without losing the joy of a moment?

1) Place their name in a special note in your wedding program (Here in our hearts we honor: …) If it is a sibling, parent or grandparent, list their names and you can add a dove, butterfly, or a cross after their name. Maybe even a little note that says: “we love that we know you are here in spirit Grandpa” (or sister or Mom, etc).

2) Place a picture of you and your loved one doing something wonderfully fun with big old smiles on your faces on a picture table that is filled with pictures of you with all those that have significance in your and your better half’s life.

3) If you are having a video montage shown at your reception – keep the pictures light and festive of those that have passed. And remember – this video is to be more about you than others. Don’t make it a memorial to your dearly departed, but don’t erase them from your memories. Make the pictures ones that will make you laugh or smile, not cry.

4) If your loved one had a particular bible verse, poem or song that you love as well, have it in your ceremony. And mention it in your wedding program but it does not have to be mentioned before the song or before the verse if that would make you or others sad.

5) Is there a piece of jewelry that you can wear that will make you feel closer to your Grandma that has passed? Is there material from her wedding dress that you can have made into a handkerchief? Can the groom wear his grandpa’s cuff links? Do you want to wear a locket with your late Mom’s picture in it?

Discuss your feelings with family and those that will be giving toasts or welcome speeches or officiating at your wedding. Let your family know how much or how little (or not at all – this is your decision) you want that special person mentioned on your wedding day. Tell them that you love those that are no longer here and think about them often, but you want to be sure that everyone can have a joy-filled, life affirming day. You set the boundaries; it is your day.

The day after my son’s wedding, I took flowers from the wedding and set them on the memorial bench donated to a park in honor of my husband’s life. I sat there for awhile, cried a little, and was very happy to know that our very special newlyweds were on their way to their Honeymoon and New Life together. That made me smile.

Joy is what your loved ones will want for you. Celebrate!

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EBs who have advice on honoring love ones without inducing tears of sorrow – please share!

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Posted in What matters most | 1 Comment »

Be In The Moment

Saturday, September 5th, 2009

Bride and Groom laughing at altar

Image by Emin Kuliyev, Emin Photography - www.em34.com

There is one Wedding Coordinator Speech ninety-nine percent of all my Brides and Grooms have endured: “Be in the Moment. Every moment of this day will be so precious. Do not lose a second to worrying about “things” that really don’t matter. Be sure you focus on your mate when you say your vows, look into each other’s eyes when you dance your first dance, have a few moments alone with your parents before you drive away to your new life, etc..” Call all my past clients to hear the rest of this speech. They are tested on this before I allow them to walk down the aisle (just kidding, sort of.) Please, do as I say, not as I did!
I remember all so many moments that I lost on my wedding day. When my husband was saying his personally written vows to me, we might as well have been in a comic strip and the caption cloud above his head would have read: “Blah, blah, blah. Blah, Blah”. I saw his lips moving, I heard words coming out of his mouth, I saw our attendants and guests crying (actually sobbing). I saw our photographer crying. And me? I was thinking, “Wow, this must be good …and there’s Judy and Larry, Mark came without Lynn…and I don’t like the way they set the chairs up.” I was on sensory overload; there was just too much to wrap around my brain.
I was so jealous of one of my clients who told me that when they were up at the altar, she held her groom’s hands and said, “I feel like it’s just me and you here; it’s perfect.” Her groom agreed as he gave his bride a pre-minister-approved kiss — just between each other, not for the 250 guests that had the good fortune of catching a glimpse of two people that truly were in a state of bliss.

www.randykepple.com

www.randykepple.com

I clearly don’t have all the answers on how to be “in the moment,” but here are a few ideas that might help you:
1) Yoga. Good preparation for wedding day focus and good flexibility for the wedding night. Yoga teaches you to breathe deeply. Breathe deeply, take it all in, and feel the joy.
2) Prayer/meditation. Ask your powers that be, that your attention will be spent on those you love and not on the rubbery chicken potentially served.
3) Love Notes. Write a note to your beloved that tells him why you are honored to become his wife and what you are looking forward to as a married couple. Write notes to your parents, in-laws, bridal party and any other super significant people in your life. Share what it means to you, to be sharing your wedding day with them. Have these notes hand-delivered (good groomsmen task) on your wedding day before all the festivities begin. This begins the big day with the focus on love, gratitude and celebration.
4) Timing. Be sure you have given yourself plenty of preparation time on your wedding day. If you think it takes 1 minute to put your underclothes on, plan that it will take you twenty. It will probably take thirty. I remember a bride who stood at the mirror for thirty-five minutes in her bustier not really looking at anything– and really not able to answer anyone’s query. Somehow we all let her do this– she needed to- and we had the time. Give yourself the gift of time.
5) Good Nutrition. Eat well before you walk down that aisle! If you have nothing to sustain you for the activities ahead, you will miss so much! Protein and carbs are a must. Every two hours nibble on something; non-chocolate (don’t want chocolate to melt on your clothing!) energy bars are good for this.
6) Good Pre-planning. Great Vendors. Do not leave anything on your “to do” list for the actual day of your wedding. Your responsibilities are done – fini. Today it is all in the hands of the good vendors you hired. Give yourself credit that you have hired quality professionals and let them do what they do best. Your responsibility today is to get pampered and enjoy the ride.
7) Choose the right partner. If you are saying yes to the right person, it is a perfect day!

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Okay EBs (Experienced Brides) share with our Brides-to-be (B2Bs) what allowed you to cherish every moment of your wedding day.

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Posted in What matters most | 1 Comment »