You and your guests will cherish the memory of a heartfelt ceremony so much more than a vague memory (if any) of the floral centerpieces. Your beloved will remember the letter you have had hand-delivered (just before the wedding begins) that shares your heart and why you love him/her so much; they will likely not remember anything about the accessories you wear. Your parents will never forget the last words you say to them before you walk down the aisle. Make sure they are something like “I love you and thank you”

At your reception, guests will remember how joy-filled you are or not. If you are pouting over the overdone chicken and forget that you can never get this moment back… you’ve not only ruined the celebration for yourself, but for everyone around you. It is your energy, not the chicken, that will make or break your celebration.

The frills of most weddings are nice, but the character of your celebration is what can create a heart-song for you and all those lucky enough to attend your true celebration of love. So in the midst of your wedding planning, just keep on asking yourself: “Will our wedding reflect the best of our character?” If you do this, you will have a day that all will remember with a smile on their face and joy in their heart.

Read a story about one bride who truly lived this advice: My Favorite Bride and you also may enjoy Be in the Moment for some tips on how to have a wonderful wedding day.

and crushin’ on these pillows too!

and her flowers…

Use pictures as background on your table numbers

There are many ways to personalize a wedding. One very popular idea is to use pictures as part of your wedding décor. Most couples find that using pictures as focal points at their wedding and reception will not only make their “wedding-scape” truly one of a kind, but really helps break the ice between guests. Pictures bring back fond memories for guests to share with one another, relieving that awkward silence between people that only have the bride and groom as their common denominator. And the cherry on top of this idea? This couldn’t be a more budget friendly idea; you have the pictures and even if you buy new frames, you can use them for your home décor after the wedding. Personal, budget and green friendly; how much better can a decorating idea get? Here are a few ways to incorporate pictures in your celebration:

Show off your parents' cake cutting pictures on your cake table

Guest book – Instead of a traditional guest book, have your guests sign the matting that surrounds your engagement portrait.
Altar pictures- Place small pictures of your dearly departed, (or those who cannot attend your wedding), on the unity candle, communion or ceremony table.
Personal jewelry –A locket with your beloved’s picture in it is a nice accessory to wear when you say, “I do”.
Reception entrance – Display pictures at the entryway of your reception, either on stand-alone easels or on your placecard table.
Tabletop centerpieces – Set three or four pictures of various sizes on each dining table. Make sure you include baby pictures and those awkward pre-teen pix as well as recent couple shots of the two of you in the mix. Add votive candles and scatter flower petals, some decorative stones, crystals, or mirror discs around the pictures and you have yourself some great conversation pieces. People will walk around to see what pictures are featured at each table.
Head table –A framed picture of each attendant (hopefully you are in the picture with them as well) at their place-setting is a very special way to designate who sits where at the head table.
Cake table- Flank your wedding cake with pictures of your parents and grandparents cutting their wedding cake.
Entertainment – Many photographers and videographers have the ability to produce and present a video or slide show of your love story. If you or friends are on the creative side, try it DIY style and have your masterpiece shown at your reception.

Last but not least, be sure to include a picture from the wedding in your thank you cards. From beginning to the end, pictures can add so much to your wedding experience.

Question for our Experienced Brides: How did you use pictures in your wedding decor? Brides2Be want to know!

When you say “I do,” you will want the people that care about you the most to be standing near you at the altar. If your bridesmaids are not all size sixes, be very conscious about what Bridesmaids dresses you choose. The comfort of your bridesmaids will have a direct correlation to how much fun they have at your wedding and how much fun you have with them! So don’t make your friends fit the dress, find dresses that fit each of your bridesmaids.

I think my favorite bridesmaids’ outfits have been weddings where the bridesmaids have not had the same dress on. They have worn dresses that were made with the same material and/or maybe the same color but the outfits were uniquely their own.

A friend of mine told her friends to wear what they felt the most beautiful in and those girls just shined! I coordinated another wedding where the bride asked her bridesmaids to wear ivory (she wore white). One bridesmaid wore an amazing pant suit, one wore a great strapless gown and another wore a similar gown but added this antique lace jacket over it that I wanted to steal! One bridesmaid was a size 0, one a size 8 and another a size 24. I loved watching the plus size bridesmaid because she looked fabulous and she knew it. She wore what she felt beautiful in and wasn’t asked to show her upper arms or fit her generous breasts in a strapless gown. And the size 0 who had zero cleavage, didn’t have to wear a dress that required a padded bra to look good in it.

Here are a few other hints:

Find a material that you love and have the dresses made to fit each bridesmaid well.

Talk to a Bridal Salon Consultant about the sizes of your friends and get their suggestions about which designers cater to your bridesmaids’ sizes and shapes. Before you take your bridesmaids out shopping, go by yourself and have a personal consultation at a Bridal Salon so you gather information and begin developing your own ideas on what you want to present to your bridesmaids as options.

Search the Internet – need I say more? Do keyword searches like plus size bridesmaid dresses, petite bridesmaids, maternity bridesmaid dresses, etc.

You might want to take your plus size friends out alone for their first shopping spree and measurement taking. I worked in a bridal salon for a while and I saw how uncomfortable it was for some girls to be measured in front of the other girls – be conscious of your friends’ modesty issues.

You can usually buy extra material from most bridesmaids’ dress designers and then can hire a seamstress to make a jacket or a wrap. I personally don’t like the wrap thing because it’s pretty impossible to keep them on all night but a Bolero jacket can be a great complement to many styles. You might want to consider a jacket or a shrug for everyone to use during the ceremony and then at the reception, those that like to show off their triceps can simply take off the jacket and others can keep it on – their choice for their comfort.

Whatever you choose, remember that being surrounded by those you love is more important than any bridesmaid’s dress you’ve seen in a magazine. So choose loveable Bridesmaids and outfits to fit each one of them beautifully.

The most amazing day with the most amazing man…..

By Samantha Lewis

After Matt had asked my two children, Nathan, age 12 and Katie, age 10, for their permission to marry me and had received enthusiastic reactions, wedding plans began. Discussions ran from a quick trip to Lake Tahoe in Nevada with the children for a small lakeside wedding to a more formalized affair with 150 of our closest friends. In creating a guest list, it occurred to us that our families alone accounted for two dozen attendees….

Since I had experienced a traditional wedding, my priorities shifted to my future husband’s ideal wedding. He had made it clear that gift registries and seating charts were not in his future wedding plans and when asked what he wanted, he jokingly answered, “just you, the kids and our families.” We immediately began planning our surprise wedding to take place in less than two weeks at our family’s “Engagement Celebration Barbecue.” The only other people who knew of our secret wedding plans were my children, our minister and my dear friend, Leslie, who took the photographs.

When people talk about a wedding taking 12 months or 18 months to plan…. well, all I can say is that ours was done in less than two weeks and it was amazing! Matt and I raced off to the florist and bakery and placed orders. While Matt and Nathan were fitted for tuxedos, my daughter and I found perfect dresses – off the rack! My dear friend agreed to photograph our wedding and since Matt is an audiophile, music was no problem. We live near the ocean and it was instantly agreed that our backdrop would be the local harbor. We met with our minister, wrote our vows, double swore the children to secrecy and invited our families to a casual backyard Barbecue- “to celebrate our engagement”.

Family began arriving, some driving as many as 2-1/2 hours…. all dressed in shorts and summer dresses for the casual barbecue. My mother, who was quite psychic, asked my son upon entering the front door, “Are we attending a wedding today?” to which my son replied, “No way, Mimi!” After a couple of hours of chatting and hors d’oeuvres in the backyard, Matt and Nathan disappeared upstairs for a quick change into tuxedos while my daughter and I retreated upstairs to put on gowns. Matt and Nathan reappeared downstairs and inquired, “Who wants to go to a wedding?” to which there were enthusiastic shouts and screams of delight. Matt herded everyone into cars to caravan to the harbor while my three sisters and Matt’s two sisters raced upstairs to congratulate, hug and apply the typical last minute girly-touches to make-up, hair and dresses. We then proceeded to the harbor.

The day was amazing….. clear, light breezes and warm sun – the sounds of sailboat lines clanging against the posts were like our own wind chime orchestra. Vows were said to one another and to the children, photographs were taken and everyone returned back to our home for a wonderful backyard Barbecue of Shish Kabobs! I wouldn’t do one single thing differently.

BKB: Isn’t that a great story? Do you have another Surprise Wedding to share with us? Please do!

If we are to be honest – 99% of all brides want to be the star of their wedding day. You don’t want a bridesmaid to be hotter, you don’t want your larger than life mother-in-law to steal the show and you have prayed for the last 6 months that your husband’s ex-girlfriend won’t show up and make a scene… or something like that. For me, my reality was that I was upstaged by an inanimate object – my wedding cake.

People did not ask for pictures of my husband and I after our wedding – they asked for pictures of our wedding cake. People who I didn’t even know but had heard about “The Wedding Cake” asked me for pictures of the cake. It was… weird. I had a famous cake.

Fess up - you wanted to see the cake - not us! Right?

Now in today’s standards, my cake is clearly outdated but several decades ago, it was quite special. The first reason why my cake was such a hit was that there were 7 different flavors of cake hidden underneath the whipped cream frosting – key lime cheesecake, Swedish Princess, chocolate decadence, carrot cake, peanut butter cheesecake, banana nut cake, and a diabetic spice cake for some diabetic relatives. My wedding cake was made by my parents who do most every thing food-related a bit over the top… actually, way over the top! I had 125 guests, the cake should have served about 250 and by the end of the afternoon reception, there was not one bite of cake left. The only piece I got was the one my husband fed me. Our guests, on the other hand, ate several pieces of cake and ran around with forks in their hands eating from their friends’ plates. It was quite a sight to see. It was a fricken’ cake orgy.

The second fun cake related issue was that I did not feed my husband cake… I fed him cake batter! Yes, not a healthy choice and don’t try this at home if you don’t want to risk food poisoning, but my husband had fond memories of his grandmother giving him cake batter so I wanted him to have this little nod to his late nana. In the middle of the reception my mom went and made a simple butter cake batter, placed it in a beautiful glass bowl and hid it underneath the cake table for the big reveal. Right after we did the traditional cutting of the cake, I slipped my hands underneath the table and brought this batter filled bowl out. I then fed my husband his favorite treat (in a large acrylic spoon decorated by mom of course.) To say that my husband loved this surprise would be a great understatement! He walked around for the rest of the reception with bowl in hand and the biggest grin on his face.

Yup… I was clearly not the star of my wedding but I love every vivid memory of watching people go crazy over my parents’ creation, not me – the cake!

There is nothing wrong with what we call a “Cookie-Cutter Wedding” – a classic traditional wedding can be executed beautifully. But just like a recipe for your favorite old fashioned cookie, if you add just one special ingredient, you can make a typical cookie (I mean wedding) extra special and definitely “all yours.”

Alix and Russell wanted their traditional wedding to begin with great fanfare. I would bet there isn’t one of their wedding guests that will ever forget when two fantastic Opera Singers (hiding in the balcony) started singing “All I Ask of You,” just before the processional began. You could literally hear people gasp, whisper “Wow!” and even wipe some tears from their face. For those who knew that this couple LOVED the Phantom of the Opera, it was an extra special moment. And the nice budget news on something so special? Hiring two professional singers from the San Francisco Opera Company cost them less than $600! Even Opera Stars will moonlight when available. No harm in asking right?

Andy loved cars and Lauren wanted Andy to be one happy boy. So Lauren arranged to have a very special surprise for her groom when the “Limo” picked them up from the church to go to their reception – it was “the star car” used in Andy’s favorite movie – “Tucker – The Man and His Dreams” (if you are a car lover you love this movie!). Andy knew the car at first glance and stayed happy all day long. This classic car was a perfect backdrop for some great pictures and cost less than what you would think.

Lisa wanted a traditional wedding cake to be the centerpiece of her reception but wanted to add very personalized accents. The cake table’s tablecloth was made out of her Grandmother’s wedding dress, framed pictures of the bride’s and groom’s parents cutting their wedding cakes flanked the cake, the antique knife to cut the cake was from the groom’s great grandparents’ wedding and the cake topper was two beautiful ceramic doves that the groom’s father created. I have never seen a more meaningful cake presentation to this day.

So Experienced Brides, tell us how you made your traditional wedding classically special.

When I was planning my wedding I realized that there would be MANY children at my celebration and I absolutely wanted it that way! Prior to being a wedding coordinator, I was a Foster Care Coordinator for the County of Orange and many of my friends were dedicated Foster Parents. Since most of our guests were traveling over 400 miles to be with us, I wanted to be sure that parents and children alike had a great time. I think we succeeded.

We chose a very kid friendly hotel to recommend to our friends (Embassy Suites) where at the time children stayed Free and their free breakfast buffet and indoor pool was a hit for family life. We had family oriented gift baskets in each of their rooms that had very specific books and toys for each child that attended our wedding. The basket also had a list of kid friendly activities that were within 10 miles of the hotel and of course a map with all the locations highlighted.

For our wedding and reception we hired professional certified nursery school teachers. I asked my neighbors with children for their favorite nursery school teachers and met with several before hiring two wonderful young women who did an amazing job for us! With their professional help, we prepared many activities for the children to enjoy. The kid’s area was in view of the adult area (this was all held at a regional park) so everyone felt safe, but it was far enough away that the parent’s could enjoy some quality adult time. However, the children’s reception was so much fun that I went over and played for about a half hour with all the children, as did the majority of our guests.

During the ceremony we planned quiet activities. One of the teachers was reading to one group and the other nursery school teacher was managing arts and crafts with the rest of the children. We made wedding related coloring books for each child and the teachers helped them make my Husband and I congratulatory greeting cards.

The children had their own buffet that was filled with kid friendly food; bite size fresh fruit with lemon yogurt dip, veges with ranch dressing and a cheese platter with the always popular cheese fish crackers in the middle. The heart shaped crustless sandwiches were pretty tasty too. The guitarist we hired to play during our ceremony went over to the child’s area to serenade them while they ate.

The “kids” had a hula hoop contest, played a mini game of T-ball, and made wedding dresses out of Crepe and Toilet Paper. I remember looking over and seeing my beloved groom hula hooping with the biggest smile on his face and all the children falling down laughing. And of course there were bubbles, lots and lots of bubbles.

For dessert the children decorated their own cupcakes with candy hearts and they all left with goody bags that included a heart shaped cookie lollipop.

Later in the evening we brought in many pizzas to the extra “Hospitality Suite” we rented at our guests’ hotel and family and friends of all ages enjoyed talking about the day’s events before having to get the kiddos ready for bedtime. I heard that many people stayed in the hospitality suite till 4 in the morning but I was already snug as a bug with my hub far away from the hospitality room!

Two weeks later, a Friend called laughing hysterically, saying they had just gotten home from another wedding. When their child was trying to sit quietly during the ceremony (truly impossible for most 3 year olds) he yelled out “Mom this is not a wedding! This is boring! Where are the hula hoops?”

Not all weddings are intended to be so kid friendly but do consider hiring professional babysitters or teachers to help with any children that may be in attendance or traveling to your wedding with their parents. Have a supervised kids’ table at the reception that is filled with fun activities or have them stay at a family member’s home or another reserved room at your venue where they can have loads of (professionally supervised of course!) fun.

If you are as lucky as we were (and planned as much as we did), memories of children at your wedding will be some of your fondest.

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Are there any EBs out there that would like to share their ideas for Kid Friendly Weddings?

Image by Emin Kuliyev, Emin Photography - www.em34.com

There is one Wedding Coordinator Speech ninety-nine percent of all my Brides and Grooms have endured: “Be in the Moment. Every moment of this day will be so precious. Do not lose a second to worrying about “things” that really don’t matter. Be sure you focus on your mate when you say your vows, look into each other’s eyes when you dance your first dance, have a few moments alone with your parents before you drive away to your new life, etc..” Call all my past clients to hear the rest of this speech. They are tested on this before I allow them to walk down the aisle (just kidding, sort of.) Please, do as I say, not as I did!
I remember all so many moments that I lost on my wedding day. When my husband was saying his personally written vows to me, we might as well have been in a comic strip and the caption cloud above his head would have read: “Blah, blah, blah. Blah, Blah”. I saw his lips moving, I heard words coming out of his mouth, I saw our attendants and guests crying (actually sobbing). I saw our photographer crying. And me? I was thinking, “Wow, this must be good …and there’s Judy and Larry, Mark came without Lynn…and I don’t like the way they set the chairs up.” I was on sensory overload; there was just too much to wrap around my brain.
I was so jealous of one of my clients who told me that when they were up at the altar, she held her groom’s hands and said, “I feel like it’s just me and you here; it’s perfect.” Her groom agreed as he gave his bride a pre-minister-approved kiss — just between each other, not for the 250 guests that had the good fortune of catching a glimpse of two people that truly were in a state of bliss.

www.randykepple.com

I clearly don’t have all the answers on how to be “in the moment,” but here are a few ideas that might help you:
1) Yoga. Good preparation for wedding day focus and good flexibility for the wedding night. Yoga teaches you to breathe deeply. Breathe deeply, take it all in, and feel the joy.
2) Prayer/meditation. Ask your powers that be, that your attention will be spent on those you love and not on the rubbery chicken potentially served.
3) Love Notes. Write a note to your beloved that tells him why you are honored to become his wife and what you are looking forward to as a married couple. Write notes to your parents, in-laws, bridal party and any other super significant people in your life. Share what it means to you, to be sharing your wedding day with them. Have these notes hand-delivered (good groomsmen task) on your wedding day before all the festivities begin. This begins the big day with the focus on love, gratitude and celebration.
4) Timing. Be sure you have given yourself plenty of preparation time on your wedding day. If you think it takes 1 minute to put your underclothes on, plan that it will take you twenty. It will probably take thirty. I remember a bride who stood at the mirror for thirty-five minutes in her bustier not really looking at anything– and really not able to answer anyone’s query. Somehow we all let her do this– she needed to- and we had the time. Give yourself the gift of time.
5) Good Nutrition. Eat well before you walk down that aisle! If you have nothing to sustain you for the activities ahead, you will miss so much! Protein and carbs are a must. Every two hours nibble on something; non-chocolate (don’t want chocolate to melt on your clothing!) energy bars are good for this.
6) Good Pre-planning. Great Vendors. Do not leave anything on your “to do” list for the actual day of your wedding. Your responsibilities are done – fini. Today it is all in the hands of the good vendors you hired. Give yourself credit that you have hired quality professionals and let them do what they do best. Your responsibility today is to get pampered and enjoy the ride.
7) Choose the right partner. If you are saying yes to the right person, it is a perfect day!

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Okay EBs (Experienced Brides) share with our Brides-to-be (B2Bs) what allowed you to cherish every moment of your wedding day.