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Preparing for the dreaded Wedding Budget talks

Friday, January 8th, 2010

True confessions…

I have made every excuse possible not to write part two of our wedding budget discussion, which began in our last post… A wedding budget lesson from a hotline client. So if a 30-year veteran in the wedding industry doesn’t like talking about preparing for budget conversations, how could any newly engaged couple be enthusiastic about the prospect?? Unfortunately, the reality is you need to have a clear idea about what resources you will have to celebrate your marriage before you start making plans for those festivities or… you could likely end up in a drama similar to the bride in part one!  Here are some ideas and steps for wedding budget preparations:

First step: Talk to your fiancée about what they envision about your wedding celebration. If he or she tells you that they have always wanted a ceremony on a bluff for just the two of you, a minister and no other guests, then you are looking at a whole different ballgame than someone who says they have always dreamed of a wedding with their entire extended family of 300 attending.

Tell each other your dreams and your fears about planning your wedding and talk frankly about what each of you individually can and want to contribute to the festivities. Do not let your marriage celebration ruin your financial future, and therefore risk a stable beginning of wedded bliss.

Develop some plan for a wedding that is being financed by the both of you and no one else. Therefore, when you talk to your parents or other possible contributors, you go into that conversation knowing that you have a plan B that the two of you can do all on your own. And believe me, sometimes when you see the strings attached to other people’s contributions, plan B may soon look like your dream wedding!

Second Step: Get some realistic pricing of local wedding vendors. Don’t start having budget conversations with Mom and Dad before having a good idea as to what things cost. I encourage couples to walk at least two Bridal Faires just to collect ideas and pricing. I make my couples pinky swear that they will book no vendors at a Bridal Faire – you can get so caught up in the hype before you really have time to do some price and quality comparison and of course, before you know what you can afford to book. Consider Bridal Faires as a place to collect data – just the facts… no bookings! Pinky swear!

After the Bridal Faire field trip, let your fingers take a walk on the Internet. There are so many resources online and you don’t want to miss all that is at your fingertips. Be sure to match your research with the city you plan on having your celebration in. I had one bride that was looking at venue pricing in Missouri when she made out a budget for her California wedding. Silly, silly, silly bride (she knows I love her!!!!) If you Google just “weddings” it will make your head spin – so start with more specific searches like New York City Wedding Venues, or Bend, Oregon Wedding Flowers, etc..

A one hour budget consultation with a wedding coordinator in your area is a wise investment. Even if you do not hire them to help execute your wedding, a budget conversation can be very helpful in getting your wedding planning started in a fiscally responsible way. Email the coordinator a list of questions you have or what you want to achieve in the consultation so they can prepare for a meeting that has personal value to you.

After your conversation with your betrothed and your pricing research, it may be time to have a sit down with the parents. But before you start a conversation with anyone else about contributing to your wedding budget, remember this harsh but true fact: NO ONE OWES YOU A WEDDING CELEBRATION –NO ONE. Parents owe you a safe and sound upbringing but they don’t owe you a party. If you walk into a budget conversation with logic, humility and gratitude the conversation is going to be a more honest exchange.

Economically speaking, we have just survived one of the worse years this nation has ever seen and many parents have lost their jobs, their retirement funds, and/or they are feeling (rationally) financially very vulnerable. People over 45 have been impacted more than any other age group in this volatile economic climate so please be conscious that people you expect to be able to contribute to your wedding may not be able to. You don’t want anyone to feel guilty that they cannot help you with financing your celebration.

With that said, are you ready to talk to Mom and Dad?

Here are a few more tips:

Talk first to whomever is the easiest to have a real conversation with; if your Mom is the voice for your parent twosome, talk to her first. Tell her that you do not want to assume that they are planning to contribute to your wedding costs, but you need to know if they do plan on contributing, and if so, what they are planning on contributing. Tell her you want to have a clear picture of what resources you have to plan your wedding with. If they say “Honey I’m sorry we just can’t…” then there is no need for a Budget Powwow. However, if they say, “well sure we plan on contributing”, then ask if they would come over for brunch (if geographically possible) so you all can have a real conversation about what they want to contribute to (the whole shebang or just your wedding dress?) and the dollar amount they want to offer. Tell them you want to be very responsible and respectful with everyone’s money and expectations.  Have your fiancé have the same initial conversation with his/her family. I highly recommend that when you get with individual contributors that these are separate conversations – you don’t have both sets of parent or families at these initial budget talks.

I had one bride who emailed her parents and admitted to them she was too nervous to initiate the conversation in person, so wanted to email them her query so they had time to really think about what would be the right answer for them without the pressure of her big blue eyes. Her parents appreciated the humor and the thoughtfulness in the way she worded her email. She wrote that she wanted them to know that whatever their answer, the most important thing is that she have their emotional support to make her marriage as happy as theirs.  She got it. And her wedding planning, wedding and marriage reflected that she got what was important.

Now parents are like anybody else and often are very vague about specific dollar amounts. If Dad says, “we’ll pay for the reception,” you need to ask him for specifics, “Does that mean food, drink, flowers and DJ? And do you want me to share some ideas on what those costs might be? Dad, I just want to be sure I don’t exceed your budget for my reception.”

Be absolutely certain that you know whom they feel must be invited to your wedding or any other expectations they have about your wedding so you can address those appropriately (“no mom, we are not going to invite your hairdresser’s cousins; I want to know everyone who attends my wedding.”).  There are always strings (or at least expectations) connected to any contribution to your wedding, so know what they are before you accept the contribution.

When you have a clear idea as to what people are contributing, you might want to take them to the vendors you are considering or at least send them info on real costs. I had one father who said he would only spend $5,000 on a caterer for his daughter’s wedding but when he met a specific caterer, he wanted to spend so much more (actually 10 times more!) and believe me, he could afford it! Giving your parent’s a sense of involvement in the wedding planning is a gift and recognizes their contribution to not only your wedding, but to your upbringing. And they’ll get a more realistic idea of what things cost.

Remind yourself to stay in a place of gratitude when you are spending other people’s money! I was going through my 96-year-old grandfather’s mementos the other day and he still has a thank you letter I wrote to my grandparents for purchasing my wedding dress and jewelry. In this letter I also asked them to participate by reading my favorite bible verse at my wedding (Corinthians 13:4-7). He told me the letter is one of his most prized possessions. He felt so included in my wedding.

Whatever your budget turns out to be, know that if there is love between the two of you, your wedding can be a beautiful celebration! One of my favorite weddings I helped with cost a total of $500! Yes, I will blog about it. Just know what $$$ you have before you begin the fun of planning your wedding. It really can be fun with any budget! I truly believe it doesn’t matter how many zeros are in a wedding budget but it clearly matters how much heart is put into the wedding planning. I hope you’ll visit BKB often to get ideas on how to plan true celebrations of love.

Here are some more budget resources for you:

Websites: Cost of Wedding (has a good simple checklist to look at)

Wedding Planning on a Budget (has a free download of a wedding budget worksheet that is worth taking a peek at!)

Book: Wedding Budget Made Easy (sounds good huh?) go to Amazon and search on wedding budget- they’ll be lots of books there for you to consider.

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Posted in wedding budget advice | 4 Comments »

A wedding budget lesson from a hotline client

Monday, December 7th, 2009

Before I tell you about a wedding hotline call, I want you to know that the Bride who made what she defined as her, “fatal assumption,” asked me to share her story on this blog. She hopes people will learn from her mistake. I promise, if you ever use our hotline services, we will never discuss your situation without your permission!

I received an email from a bride, who I will call, Astrid (not her real name). She asked for a wedding hotline consultation to be arranged as soon as possible – so we spoke just 10 minutes after I received her email. Astrid began the conversation by saying,  “I feel like such a fool! It’s embarrassing to even share my situation with you.” After I assured her that I had “been there, done that,”  and I was clearly not in a position to judge anybody on what they do under the influence of WOD (Wedding Obsessive Disorder ;-) ), she felt comfortable enough to tell me her story.

Astrid waited 5 years for her fiancé to pop the question so she didn’t wait a second to start planning her wedding.  When she and her fiancé went over to her parent’s house to show off her ring and discuss her desire to get married as soon as possible, her father told her that he would pay for the wedding and in fact would set up a checking account for her to use. The next day Astrid and her dad went to the bank and opened up a wedding account. Knowing that her Dad had made an initial deposit of  $10,000 in this account, she immediately started shopping.

In less than a week, Astrid made a deposit on a $3,000 wedding dress, signed contracts with a popular wedding venue, a photographer, and a floral designer, and had sent a check off to the most popular DJ in her city.

Thinking she had done a great job at getting all her priority wedding services set up, Astrid gave herself a pat on the back and then called her father to ask him to deposit more money in the wedding account. Here it comes…(are you feeling a knot in your stomach?)…   When her dad heard her request, he said, “What?! You need more money? That is all the money I am going to give you for the wedding. That is all I can afford!  I can’t give you a dime more.” Astrid’s dad was very upset because now he felt bad that he couldn’t give his daughter the wedding of her dreams, and he had no idea what these services would cost. Astrid was scared beyond measure because she had signed contracts for what totaled to be a minimum of  $25,000. Her assumption that the $10,000 her father deposited in her wedding account, would be the first of several deposits, had put her in a very liable position.

Astrid and I had our work cut out for us to figure out what her next steps would be.  Suffice it to say, we had many phone calls with her vendors. With some vendors, we were able to renegotiate contracts and others we chose to cancel, and one deposit was lost (unless they can re-book her wedding date, then they say they will give her 50% of her deposit back).  I want to be clear that none of these vendors had to negotiate with us, most did, but we were lucky!

The lesson to learn from Astrid’s story is simple; do not assume anything when it comes to someone contributing money to your wedding budget. Astrid’s father wanted her little girl to have a dream wedding but he really thought that she could make that happen with his $10,000. Astrid assumed when her Dad said, “I will pay for your wedding” that she had carte blanche on how much she could spend. Assumptions can be deadly!

As scary as a very clear budget conversation is, it must be done. You want to be grateful for any amount of money that people are contributing to your wedding and you don’t want them to feel guilty that they cannot afford more. No one owes you money towards your wedding, but if they are helping financially, you need to know exactly what they are contributing and what they expect you to do (or be able to do) with their contribution.  Astrid said, “I’m going to have the words “No assumptions” tattooed on my butt!”  In our next post, we will talk about how to prepare for  wedding budget talks before you start spending money.

PS: Astrid is going to have a wonderful wedding while honoring a $10,000 budget. She is marrying the “man of her dreams” and she has parents that treasure her. What could be better than that?

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Posted in wedding budget advice | 1 Comment »

Tips for choosing a quality wedding photographer

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009
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Photography by Emin Kuliyev

Confession time. Just last month I attended a great wedding with the intention of shooting pictures that I would use for a future article. I had three cameras – a professional quality camera, a cheap digital and of course my trusty phone camera. The only thing that was missing in my picture arsenal was a skilled photographer!

All I can say is thank goodness the Bride and Groom were not relying on me to capture their priceless memories. My photos were definitely not worthy of this beautiful wedding. The professional photographer’s pictures on the other hand, were fabulous. Hallelujah!!!

Because of well intentioned, but lousy novice photographers like myself, I encourage all brides and grooms to bite the bullet and pay for a professional wedding photographer to document their celebrations.  I mean really, how many times can you get those that you love all dressed up and looking their best? And wedding pictures are about the only pictures that years later people will still ask to take a peek at. Just yesterday I was looking at my own parent’s pictures and they have been married for 57 years!

Here are a few tips to consider when hiring a photographer:

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Photography by Emin Kuliyev

1) See and like their work. Be sure it’s their own work especially if you’re interviewing a photographer at a studio that has multiple photographers.

2) Ask for references! Call a few of their past clients and a few event sites that have experienced them at work.  I have always said that although someone may be a good studio photographer, event photography requires a completely different animal.  Ask reference questions like: Does their temperament at work add to the stress of your day or does their good humor actually add to the joy of the celebration?  Do they play well with others – meaning your caterer, entertainment and master of ceremony?  If you could improve anything about their work style what would it be?  Were there any added expenses not clear to you before you signed a contract?  Did they respond to your calls and questions efficiently? How long did it take to get your proofs? Were your pictures of the same quality as their sales portfolio? Did they take all the pictures you had discussed in advance? Were you disappointed in anything they did or didn’t do at the wedding?

3) Be sure you like them. There is nothing more obvious in a picture than when a person is uncomfortable getting photographed or uncomfortable with their photographer. If this is an extra special event like a wedding or a milestone anniversary, you may want to have a run through with your photographer.  This may be an engagement shoot or a family or individual portrait.  This gives the photographer a chance to see your comfort level with a camera and to notice things like when you blink your eyes or that nervous twitch of yours.  It also lets them see your good side and your bad side — photographically and personality speaking.  And you get the opportunity to see your photographer’s work — before it’s too late!

4) Read every word of your contract before you sign on the dotted line. Don’t assume that everything your photographer is saying is what will happen. Make certain everything is in writing.

5) Give your photographer a list of pictures you want to be certain they capture. And assign a family member or friend that can help the photographer find those that you want to take pictures with.

6) Let your family, friends and wedding party know when and where they need to be for the formal pictures shoot. This will help the photographer get these pictures done quickly so you can enjoy your day without any unnecessary delay.

I am staring at a picture of my late husband on our wedding day. Believe me when I say that pictures can be priceless treasures that can literally last beyond a lifetime for future generations to enjoy. So be sure you hire a quality photographer (and not me!) to do the job right.

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Posted in Photography, Wedding Planning Tips | 4 Comments »

Part 2-Who sits where at your wedding reception

Friday, October 23rd, 2009

Here is the second part of the article “Room layout and seating arrangement advice for your wedding reception” – grab a nice beverage and read on…

Who sits where?

TopTablePlanner.com

TopTablePlanner.com

Now for the scary part (if you are not already hyperventilating)… seat assignments!

Seat assignments can be a logistical and a psychological nightmare. Aunt Betty and Uncle Tom haven’t spoken to each other in 20 years and you are on your third stepfather and have invited them all to your wedding. Who you sit where can make or break a party.

Issues to keep in mind

1) Think of each dining table as a party within your party. Who is going to be an “Ambassador of Fun” at each table, who can make anybody feel special and who do you think will enjoy each other’s company? Who would be repulsed to sit by one of your other guests (do keep them as far away from each other as possible)?

2) Physical restrictions: Who has a cast on their leg or is wheelchair bound? Who needs to be placed where there is plenty of room because he is the size of a sumo wrestler? Absolutely think of the challenges that each of your guests may have and factor those in when assigning their seat. A table generally for 10 may have to be a table for 7 to accommodate some special needs. Be sure your event or site coordinator is alerted to those special needs.

3) Ego Placements – Are your Fiance’s divorced parents’ tables equally prominent? Will that matter to them? You don’t want a pouting new mama- in- law on your hands at your wedding. Whose ego needs to be assigned a special table?

4) Good vibrations – make sure that you do not have your 96-year-old grandfather next to the DJ’s speakers. Most elderly guests’ ears may be sensitive to noise and won’t be able to hear anybody talk at their table if they are too close to the music.

5) Kid Friendly – Don’t put your cousin and her 3 children at the same table as someone who hates children. Do you want a kids’ table and then put their parents’ tables next to the kids’ table – sort of the “family friendly zone at your reception?”

So how do you make a physical plan of your table arrangements and seat assignments without needing tranquilizers? Do you need to get graph paper, crayons, or an architect involved???

There’s help!!!!! Several brilliant people have developed programs to help you with your seating arrangements. One web-based planner, Toptableplanner.com is worth taking a peek at. Their planner can help you make a layout and assign people to different tables. As importantly, it allows you to move people (and remove people) by just a drag and a drop. You can keep track of your RSVPs and guests’ meal choices and print your revised table plans, place cards and escort cards anywhere you have internet access (and of course a printer). It is a nice and easy planning tool and I believe can relieve so much of the anxiety you are feeling right now. It’s a $20 investment towards your sanity. There are other internet and software planning tools worthy of your evaluation (we’ll be looking at a few more in future posts), so do your homework and choose the best program for your needs.

Before you firm everything up though – be sure you are showing your plan to all the wedding vendors you are using. You want to be certain your layout fits into the room with all the decor and activities you have planned for your reception.

I could go on forever on this subject (I guess I actually have!) but for now – go jot down all the issues that you know you will need to take into consideration to make your room design and seating arrangements work for your celebration. And don’t forget to ask for help – there are a lot of professionals that can help you with these tasks – event coordinators, event designers, caterers, and party rental consultants are all people who work on room design and seating arrangement issues everyday.

Happy planning!

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Posted in Planning Tools, Reception Ideas, Seating Arrangements, Wedding Planning Tips | 2 Comments »

Room layout and seating arrangement advice for your wedding reception – Part 1

Thursday, October 22nd, 2009
tableseatingchartswww.em34.com

Emin Photography

Forgive me readers but this is long. Real long! I have separated this article in two posts. This is part one. Make sure to read both posts to get the full story. Here we goooooo…….

Although I happen to get one big buzz from planning special events, my least favorite part of party planning is deciding how the tables are laid out and who sits where. If you do not have an architect’s, interior decorator’s, sociologist’s, psychologist’s, caterer’s, entertainer’s and party planner’s mind all captured in your very own head, here is a little help for you:

Room layout/ Floorplan:

Hopefully you’ll have some professional guidance here.

* If you are having your celebration at a popular wedding location, their events coordinator will likely have very practical wisdom to share with you. Definitely ask if they have samples of different room layouts for you to take home and mull over. Ask the event coordinator which layout they think will work best with not only the amount of people you are having but the type of entertainment, activities, and decorations you have planned. If you are having a 16 piece orchestra they will need more room than a solo DJ. If you decide to bring in 22 lighted Christmas trees for your Winter Wonderland themed event, this is going to take more room than the two Ficus trees already there.

* Head table or no head table – Choosing if you want a Sweetheart table just for the two of you or if you want your entire wedding party sitting with you, is a huge issue to decide before you lay out the design of your room. If you hate people watching you eat or just not comfortable with being in the spotlight all night long, you just may choose to eliminate a head table all together. If that is your choice, make sure your table has “Hugs room” – so that people can comfortably come and extend their best wishes.

* Room design and table arrangements need to be a collaborative process with all professionals that will need some space during your wedding. Someone needs to call the DJ, orchestra, caterer, etc. and ask how much room their set-up takes and do they have any other special requirements for their installation. I remember one wedding I attended that the bride laid out her own space and put the DJ and the food buffet in a space where there was no electricity. This was not a good beginning of this poor bride’s wedding day!

* Make a list. Start writing down all the things you think you will need space for at your event. Do you want a dance floor, cake table, gift table, and hostess/guestbook/place-card table? List, list, list and share, share, share with everyone involved. My cousin forgot to place a cake table at her wedding, but then again she had forgotten to order the cake until two days before.

* How many guest tables you will need will be determined by so many factors. How many people do you want at each table? Does your location require a certain amount of guests at each table (some do for space and staff budgeting)? I like people to have lots of elbowroom so I like to see how the actual set-up will look like before I make my mind up. Take a look at how close the tables are placed near each other – is there room for people to get out of their chair without hitting the person sitting at the table in back of them? Ask your event site if you can come take a peek when they have set up for someone else’s event that would likely be similar to yours.

Stay tuned for part two – Who Sits Where?

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Posted in Floorplan tips, Reception Ideas, Seating Arrangements, Wedding Planning Tips | No Comments »

Weddings by Wal-Mart

Sunday, October 11th, 2009

In this economy most everyone has to rethink how they are using their resources and couples planning weddings are no different than the rest of us. When Americans think of budget shopping, it leads millions to Wal-Mart.

Walk into most any department in Wal-Mart and you can find something that may be useful for a bride and groom and generally speaking, you aren’t going to find it cheaper anywhere else. www.walmart.com engagement ring In their jewelry department you will find a few inexpensive engagement rings and wedding bands and a generous selection of accessories and gifts for an entire bridal party. Cubic Zirconia tennis bracelets, simple anklets, heart shaped and “Journey” necklaces with earrings to match, will accessorize bridesmaids well without emptying anyone’s piggy bank.

In the party section you will find several rows of typical wedding supplies for much lower prices than most specialty stores. Best Occassion Love Pillow Boxes 50 for $12A good assortment of Favor boxes at 50 for $12 can easily be filled with a sweet treat found in their candy department. Want the kiddies-at-heart to have bubbles? 100 Ring Bubble Wand Favors are only $15. Best Occasions Invitation Kits 25 count Brinze Square Pocket 23 count for $29For the computer savvy they have invitation kits at unbelievable prices and for the home bakers they have most anything you would need to make your own wedding cake or cupcake tower.

If you venture into departments not often thought of as wedding related, you will locate some great “finds” for a celebration. Do some price comparison and you may find that it is actually cheaper to buy whole sets of dinnerware than to rent them from a typical party rental company. On a recent visit to a Wal-Mart store, I found glass dinner plates for $1.50 each. The nice thing about purchasing instead of renting is you will have a large collection for all your future celebrations.

Decorating weddings with $5 vases, filling them with homegrown flowers and surrounding the vases with $1 votive candles can make for simple and inexpensive centerpieces. gazebo trellis arch 93Purchasing a gazebo or an arbor in their garden department will allow you to reuse it in your own backyard after it has been the centerpiece of your ceremony.cast iron Brick fire Bowl 179 You can also get multi-use out of other special décor like lanterns, firepits or outdoor furniture that help create a very chic and contemporary styled wedding.westinhouse 4 piece 40

Right now, when the Christmas department is just being set up, it’s a great time to look at white lights to swag on your head and cake tables (underneath tulle or iridescent material). Or purchase Christmas ornaments and pile them in a crystal bowl for an easy centerpiece anytime of the year.

Don’t forget the personal health and hygiene departments to make “Wedding Day Emergency Kits.” Band-Aids, Tums, Aspirins, mouthwash, hairspray, deodorant, nail repair kits, Kleenex and smelling salts are just a few of the items key to a good emergency kit. Add energy bars, nuts and bottled water from the grocery section and stain removers from the laundry supplies and your kit will begin to look like a pro made it.

If your schedule is crazy and feet are sore, do some of your shopping on-line at www.walmart.com. By creatively thinking outside the box – you can come up with a Wal-Mart Wedding that won’t break the bank but can still be a very special celebration with all the trimmings!

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Posted in DIY Wedding Ideas, Ideas for saving money, Invitation ideas, Wedding Favor Ideas, Wedding Planning Tips, decoration ideas | 1 Comment »

Clothing to Celebrate Your Bridesmaids

Wednesday, October 7th, 2009

www.ellaparkbridal.com
Bridesmaids come in all shapes and sizes.

When you say “I do,” you will want the people that care about you the most to be standing near you at the altar. If your bridesmaids are not all size sixes, be very conscious about what Bridesmaids dresses you choose. The comfort of your bridesmaids will have a direct correlation to how much fun they have at your wedding and how much fun you have with them! So don’t make your friends fit the dress, find dresses that fit each of your bridesmaids.

I think my favorite bridesmaids’ outfits have been weddings where the bridesmaids have not had the same dress on. They have worn dresses that were made with the same material and/or maybe the same color but the outfits were uniquely their own.

A friend of mine told her friends to wear what they felt the most beautiful in and those girls just shined! I coordinated another wedding where the bride asked her bridesmaids to wear ivory (she wore white). One bridesmaid wore an amazing pant suit, one wore a great strapless gown and another wore a similar gown but added this antique lace jacket over it that I wanted to steal! One bridesmaid was a size 0, one a size 8 and another a size 24. I loved watching the plus size bridesmaid because she looked fabulous and she knew it. She wore what she felt beautiful in and wasn’t asked to show her upper arms or fit her generous breasts in a strapless gown. And the size 0 who had zero cleavage, didn’t have to wear a dress that required a padded bra to look good in it.

onestopplus.com

Here are a few other hints:

Find a material that you love and have the dresses made to fit each bridesmaid well.

Talk to a Bridal Salon Consultant about the sizes of your friends and get their suggestions about which designers cater to your bridesmaids’ sizes and shapes. Before you take your bridesmaids out shopping, go by yourself and have a personal consultation at a Bridal Salon so you gather information and begin developing your own ideas on what you want to present to your bridesmaids as options.

Search the Internet – need I say more? Do keyword searches like plus size bridesmaid dresses, petite bridesmaids, maternity bridesmaid dresses, etc. maternity Watters and Watters

You might want to take your plus size friends out alone for their first shopping spree and measurement taking. I worked in a bridal salon for a while and I saw how uncomfortable it was for some girls to be measured in front of the other girls – be conscious of your friends’ modesty issues.

You can usually buy extra material from most bridesmaids’ dress designers and then can hire a seamstress to make a jacket or a wrap. I personally don’t like the wrap thing because it’s pretty impossible to keep them on all night but a Bolero jacket can be a great complement to many styles. You might want to consider a jacket or a shrug for everyone to use during the ceremony and then at the reception, those that like to show off their triceps can simply take off the jacket and others can keep it on – their choice for their comfort. perfect-bridesmaid-dresses.com

Whatever you choose, remember that being surrounded by those you love is more important than any bridesmaid’s dress you’ve seen in a magazine. So choose loveable Bridesmaids and outfits to fit each one of them beautifully.

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Posted in Bridesmaids dresses | 3 Comments »

Simple Ideas for Autumn Themed Weddings

Saturday, October 3rd, 2009

www.riversideinn.com
Fall is such a wonderful time to have a wedding. Crisp air and Autumn hues just lend themselves for warm and oh so inviting celebrations.

Some of my favorite venues for Fall weddings are wineries, apple orchards, farms and rustic looking clubhouses with big old fireplaces.

Natural decorations that show off the beauty of the season can be inexpensive and stunning. Outlining a processional aisle with autumn leaves easily sets the tone for a fall wedding and can cost you nothing if you have your cadre of friends collect them the month before your wedding. Remember Runaway Bride when Julia Roberts finally married Richard Gere? The only decoration at that ceremony was a hill full of beautiful fall leaves.

I love to decorate with barrels of apples and apples as place-card or candle holders. And I am nuts about nuts in table-scapes. Decorative bowls of nuts (with nutcrackers handy) on each guest table, tall vases filled with nuts and topped with fall flowers, or nuts just strewn around a centerpiece provide some great accents. My girlfriend had a chocolate iced wedding cake decorated with maple candy leaves and marzipan fruit. The cake was surrounded by a variety of nuts and candles on a gold tablecloth; it was…fabulous.

I went to a wedding last year that served hot apple cider with cinnamon sticks and also had hot buttered rum drinks. At the end of the evening they handed out waxed bags filled with warm mini apple cinnamon doughnuts for the trip home. I am certain no doughnuts actually made it all the way home! At another wedding they had caramel apples as their wedding favors – what could remind you of a fall day more than a caramel apple?

Tell us about your Autumn themed wedding. We’d loved to hear your creative ideas!

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Posted in Autumn themed wedding ideas, Ceremony decor, DIY Wedding Ideas, Green/Eco-conscious Wedding Ideas, Ideas for saving money, Reception Ideas, Wedding Beverage Ideas, decoration ideas | 4 Comments »

Upstaged by My Wedding Cake

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

Mom and Dad zMe and Marv

If we are to be honest – 99% of all brides want to be the star of their wedding day. You don’t want a bridesmaid to be hotter, you don’t want your larger than life mother-in-law to steal the show and you have prayed for the last 6 months that your husband’s ex-girlfriend won’t show up and make a scene… or something like that. For me, my reality was that I was upstaged by an inanimate object – my wedding cake.

People did not ask for pictures of my husband and I after our wedding – they asked for pictures of our wedding cake. People who I didn’t even know but had heard about “The Wedding Cake” asked me for pictures of the cake. It was… weird. I had a famous cake.

my wedding cake

Fess up - you wanted to see the cake - not us! Right?

Now in today’s standards, my cake is clearly outdated but several decades ago, it was quite special. The first reason why my cake was such a hit was that there were 7 different flavors of cake hidden underneath the whipped cream frosting – key lime cheesecake, Swedish Princess, chocolate decadence, carrot cake, peanut butter cheesecake, banana nut cake, and a diabetic spice cake for some diabetic relatives. My wedding cake was made by my parents who do most every thing food-related a bit over the top… actually, way over the top! I had 125 guests, the cake should have served about 250 and by the end of the afternoon reception, there was not one bite of cake left. The only piece I got was the one my husband fed me. Our guests, on the other hand, ate several pieces of cake and ran around with forks in their hands eating from their friends’ plates. It was quite a sight to see. It was a fricken’ cake orgy.

The second fun cake related issue was that I did not feed my husband cake… I fed him cake batter! Yes, not a healthy choice and don’t try this at home if you don’t want to risk food poisoning, but my husband had fond memories of his grandmother giving him cake batter so I wanted him to have this little nod to his late nana. In the middle of the reception my mom went and made a simple butter cake batter, placed it in a beautiful glass bowl and hid it underneath the cake table for the big reveal. Right after we did the traditional cutting of the cake, I slipped my hands underneath the table and brought this batter filled bowl out. I then fed my husband his favorite treat (in a large acrylic spoon decorated by mom of course.) To say that my husband loved this surprise would be a great understatement! He walked around for the rest of the reception with bowl in hand and the biggest grin on his face.

Yup… I was clearly not the star of my wedding but I love every vivid memory of watching people go crazy over my parents’ creation, not me – the cake!

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Posted in Real Weddings, Wedding Cakes and other yummies | 3 Comments »

Traditional Weddings Classically Personalized

Saturday, September 5th, 2009

There is nothing wrong with what we call a “Cookie-Cutter Wedding” – a classic traditional wedding can be executed beautifully. But just like a recipe for your favorite old fashioned cookie, if you add just one special ingredient, you can make a typical cookie (I mean wedding) extra special and definitely “all yours.”

Alix and Russell wanted their traditional wedding to begin with great fanfare. I would bet there isn’t one of their wedding guests that will ever forget when two fantastic Opera Singers (hiding in the balcony) started singing “All I Ask of You,” just before the processional began. You could literally hear people gasp, whisper “Wow!” and even wipe some tears from their face. For those who knew that this couple LOVED the Phantom of the Opera, it was an extra special moment. And the nice budget news on something so special? Hiring two professional singers from the San Francisco Opera Company cost them less than $600! Even Opera Stars will moonlight when available. No harm in asking right?

Andy loved cars and Lauren wanted Andy to be one happy boy. So Lauren arranged to have a very special surprise for her groom when the “Limo” picked them up from the church to go to their reception – it was “the star car” used in Andy’s favorite movie – “Tucker – The Man and His Dreams” (if you are a car lover you love this movie!). Andy knew the car at first glance and stayed happy all day long. This classic car was a perfect backdrop for some great pictures and cost less than what you would think.

Lisa wanted a traditional wedding cake to be the centerpiece of her reception but wanted to add very personalized accents. The cake table’s tablecloth was made out of her Grandmother’s wedding dress, framed pictures of the bride’s and groom’s parents cutting their wedding cakes flanked the cake, the antique knife to cut the cake was from the groom’s great grandparents’ wedding and the cake topper was two beautiful ceramic doves that the groom’s father created. I have never seen a more meaningful cake presentation to this day.

So Experienced Brides, tell us how you made your traditional wedding classically special.

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Posted in Personalizing your wedding, Real Weddings | 1 Comment »

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