Posts Tagged ‘Wedding Stories’

A $3,500 wedding created with a little help from their friends

Friday, January 15th, 2010
Emily Taffel-Schaper and Fritz Schaper
Emily Taffel-Schaper and Fritz Schaper

With a price-tag of  $20,000 for the average American wedding, I am ecstatic to receive emails from creative brides who create fabulous celebrations for far less.  Emily Taffel-Schaper sent in the following article about her wedding with loads (I mean loads!) of valuable ideas on how she executed her wedding for $3,500. Emily, her husband Fritz Schaper, and her 125 guests had a wonderful time and there are no leftover bills endangering their newlywed bliss status. Here is Emily’s story in her own words…

“When my husband and I got engaged I was thrilled, but the excitement was tempered because neither of our families were in the position to help us pay for a wedding.  I didn’t want to give up the wedding I had dreamed of, so with a little creativity, a year of smart shopping and a lot of help from our friends and family, we had a wedding that looked like a million bucks, but only cost $3,500 (not including the rings).

It all started with a donation of invitations from my Aunt’s shop, Pushing the Envelope CT.  They did our invites for free and that sparked us to see what else we could find discounts on.

After several trips to bridal stores that left me in tears over the prices, I found a local boutique that rented gowns. They had brand new, never before worn dresses and offered a free altering service as well. I got married in my dream gown for only $300 and bought my veil and tiara ($40) to have something to remember it by.  My husband picked up his tux at AfterHours Formal wear for $150.

The ceremony and reception were held at Shall We Dance, a ballroom dancing hall in Deerfield Beach, Florida.  Everyone thought we were crazy to book a “hole-in-the-wall” location, situated above a golf shop, but by choosing “off-the-beaten-path” and trusting in our ability to make it work, we got floor-to-ceiling windows lining each wall, hardwood floors and a location equipped with tables, chairs and a full kitchen for only $500 (5 hours plus 3 hours of set-up time).  Linens and chair sashes came from Fabulous Events, and were almost our most expensive purchase at $650.

We covered the ceiling with twinkle lights and tulle, bought at an after-Christmas garage sale for $10.00.  A friend had pictures of us blown up to poster size, to cover some ugly framed paintings on the dance  studio’s walls. It really personalized the location for us.

Taffell Wedding -chuppahFriends decorated our chuppah with silk flowers, tulle, twinkle lights and hanging crystals. The poles came from Home Depot and the buckets that housed them were found for free from a local ice cream shop, Kilwin’s. Total cost: $30.

Roses for the bouquets and centerpieces were bought from a local farm. We bartered our time in exchange for a discount; once a month we helped them tend to the garden and they let us buy 200 roses for only $200.  Taffel Wedding Centerpieces

Our centerpieces were branches collected in the woods behind a friend’s house, sprayed gold, placed in dollar store vases and accessorized with leftover roses from the bouquets.  My brother folded 100 origami birds for us as well. We sprinkled dollar store gold glitter on the tables, surrounded the centerpieces with candles and adorned each window with hanging candle-holders we created using ribbon hot glued on.  Tea lights were bought for $2 per 50 at Party City.  By turning off the overhead lights and just using the twinkle lights and candles, the entire room was transformed. Total cost: $150.

emilys candy buffet 1We had a candy buffet for our favors. Chinese food containers from Oriental Trading cost less than $10 for 100 and we sourced candy from many locations – local grocery stores, ethnic markets and even the Cracker Barrel. Total cost: $100.

Food & drinks were a little harder, but after researching caterers, we hired a chef/friend.  We held the wedding late, 7 p.m. on a Saturday, in order to serve a buffet of just hors d’ouevres and desserts, which kept the cost down. We hired another friend to bartend, bought bulk soda and water at Costco, negotiated with a local liquor company on bulk wine and beer and had a “Stock our Wedding” party for liquor.  We hold a ton of parties for our friends and normally we provide the food and wine, but this time, we asked everyone to please bring 1-2 bottles of liquor that could be used at our wedding. We had a great BBQ dinner and thanks to our friends, stocked our wedding bar.  Total out-of-pocket cost for food and drink at our wedding : $800.

No one missed the full dinner service since the entire night was spent on the dance floor.  We negotiated with a local DJ company and they exchanged their services at a discount rate provided they were able to put out flyers at the dance school. Total cost: $200 for 4 hours.

After all that,  we  had some money leftover to buy groomsmen and bridesmaid gifts from etsy.comIt was a magical evening that I wouldn’t have done differently, even if we had a million dollars to spend.

Planning our wedding had an added benefit; it motivated me to start a business, Pretty. Useful. Stuff., where I work with brides to help them create one-of-a-kind weddings and events of their own, without breaking the bank to do it.”

Thanks Emily for sharing all your useful ideas. We’d love to showcase the wisdom and creativity of other Experienced Brides as well. Email us your pictures and posts at info@bridesknowbest.com.

Tips for choosing a quality wedding photographer

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009
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Photography by Emin Kuliyev

Confession time. Just last month I attended a great wedding with the intention of shooting pictures that I would use for a future article. I had three cameras – a professional quality camera, a cheap digital and of course my trusty phone camera. The only thing that was missing in my picture arsenal was a skilled photographer!

All I can say is thank goodness the Bride and Groom were not relying on me to capture their priceless memories. My photos were definitely not worthy of this beautiful wedding. The professional photographer’s pictures on the other hand, were fabulous. Hallelujah!!!

Because of well intentioned, but lousy novice photographers like myself, I encourage all brides and grooms to bite the bullet and pay for a professional wedding photographer to document their celebrations.  I mean really, how many times can you get those that you love all dressed up and looking their best? And wedding pictures are about the only pictures that years later people will still ask to take a peek at. Just yesterday I was looking at my own parent’s pictures and they have been married for 57 years!

Here are a few tips to consider when hiring a photographer:

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Photography by Emin Kuliyev

1) See and like their work. Be sure it’s their own work especially if you’re interviewing a photographer at a studio that has multiple photographers.

2) Ask for references! Call a few of their past clients and a few event sites that have experienced them at work.  I have always said that although someone may be a good studio photographer, event photography requires a completely different animal.  Ask reference questions like: Does their temperament at work add to the stress of your day or does their good humor actually add to the joy of the celebration?  Do they play well with others – meaning your caterer, entertainment and master of ceremony?  If you could improve anything about their work style what would it be?  Were there any added expenses not clear to you before you signed a contract?  Did they respond to your calls and questions efficiently? How long did it take to get your proofs? Were your pictures of the same quality as their sales portfolio? Did they take all the pictures you had discussed in advance? Were you disappointed in anything they did or didn’t do at the wedding?

3) Be sure you like them. There is nothing more obvious in a picture than when a person is uncomfortable getting photographed or uncomfortable with their photographer. If this is an extra special event like a wedding or a milestone anniversary, you may want to have a run through with your photographer.  This may be an engagement shoot or a family or individual portrait.  This gives the photographer a chance to see your comfort level with a camera and to notice things like when you blink your eyes or that nervous twitch of yours.  It also lets them see your good side and your bad side — photographically and personality speaking.  And you get the opportunity to see your photographer’s work — before it’s too late!

4) Read every word of your contract before you sign on the dotted line. Don’t assume that everything your photographer is saying is what will happen. Make certain everything is in writing.

5) Give your photographer a list of pictures you want to be certain they capture. And assign a family member or friend that can help the photographer find those that you want to take pictures with.

6) Let your family, friends and wedding party know when and where they need to be for the formal pictures shoot. This will help the photographer get these pictures done quickly so you can enjoy your day without any unnecessary delay.

I am staring at a picture of my late husband on our wedding day. Believe me when I say that pictures can be priceless treasures that can literally last beyond a lifetime for future generations to enjoy. So be sure you hire a quality photographer (and not me!) to do the job right.

Samantha and Matt’s Surprise Wedding

Monday, September 28th, 2009

The following wedding story is shared by one of my favorite Brides. Samantha and Matt’s very intimate “Surprise Wedding” was quite a hit with their guests who thought they were coming over for a casual BBQ! This wedding was planned by the Bride and Groom in two weeks and is a wonderful memory for all who had the honor to witness the beginning of a magnificent marriage.

The most amazing day with the most amazing man…..

By Samantha Lewis

After Matt had asked my two children, Nathan, age 12 and Katie, age 10, for their permission to marry me and had received enthusiastic reactions, wedding plans began. Discussions ran from a quick trip to Lake Tahoe in Nevada with the children for a small lakeside wedding to a more formalized affair with 150 of our closest friends. In creating a guest list, it occurred to us that our families alone accounted for two dozen attendees….

Since I had experienced a traditional wedding, my priorities shifted to my future husband’s ideal wedding. He had made it clear that gift registries and seating charts were not in his future wedding plans and when asked what he wanted, he jokingly answered, “just you, the kids and our families.” We immediately began planning our surprise wedding to take place in less than two weeks at our family’s “Engagement Celebration Barbecue.” The only other people who knew of our secret wedding plans were my children, our minister and my dear friend, Leslie, who took the photographs.

When people talk about a wedding taking 12 months or 18 months to plan…. well, all I can say is that ours was done in less than two weeks and it was amazing! Matt and I raced off to the florist and bakery and placed orders. While Matt and Nathan were fitted for tuxedos, my daughter and I found perfect dresses – off the rack! My dear friend agreed to photograph our wedding and since Matt is an audiophile, music was no problem. We live near the ocean and it was instantly agreed that our backdrop would be the local harbor. We met with our minister, wrote our vows, double swore the children to secrecy and invited our families to a casual backyard Barbecue- “to celebrate our engagement”.

Family began arriving, some driving as many as 2-1/2 hours…. all dressed in shorts and summer dresses for the casual barbecue. My mother, who was quite psychic, asked my son upon entering the front door, “Are we attending a wedding today?” to which my son replied, “No way, Mimi!” After a couple of hours of chatting and hors d’oeuvres in the backyard, Matt and Nathan disappeared upstairs for a quick change into tuxedos while my daughter and I retreated upstairs to put on gowns. Matt and Nathan reappeared downstairs and inquired, “Who wants to go to a wedding?” to which there were enthusiastic shouts and screams of delight. Matt herded everyone into cars to caravan to the harbor while my three sisters and Matt’s two sisters raced upstairs to congratulate, hug and apply the typical last minute girly-touches to make-up, hair and dresses. We then proceeded to the harbor.

The day was amazing….. clear, light breezes and warm sun – the sounds of sailboat lines clanging against the posts were like our own wind chime orchestra. Vows were said to one another and to the children, photographs were taken and everyone returned back to our home for a wonderful backyard Barbecue of Shish Kabobs! I wouldn’t do one single thing differently.

BKB: Isn’t that a great story? Do you have another Surprise Wedding to share with us? Please do!

Upstaged by My Wedding Cake

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

Mom and Dad zMe and Marv

If we are to be honest – 99% of all brides want to be the star of their wedding day. You don’t want a bridesmaid to be hotter, you don’t want your larger than life mother-in-law to steal the show and you have prayed for the last 6 months that your husband’s ex-girlfriend won’t show up and make a scene… or something like that. For me, my reality was that I was upstaged by an inanimate object – my wedding cake.

People did not ask for pictures of my husband and I after our wedding – they asked for pictures of our wedding cake. People who I didn’t even know but had heard about “The Wedding Cake” asked me for pictures of the cake. It was… weird. I had a famous cake.

my wedding cake

Fess up - you wanted to see the cake - not us! Right?

Now in today’s standards, my cake is clearly outdated but several decades ago, it was quite special. The first reason why my cake was such a hit was that there were 7 different flavors of cake hidden underneath the whipped cream frosting – key lime cheesecake, Swedish Princess, chocolate decadence, carrot cake, peanut butter cheesecake, banana nut cake, and a diabetic spice cake for some diabetic relatives. My wedding cake was made by my parents who do most every thing food-related a bit over the top… actually, way over the top! I had 125 guests, the cake should have served about 250 and by the end of the afternoon reception, there was not one bite of cake left. The only piece I got was the one my husband fed me. Our guests, on the other hand, ate several pieces of cake and ran around with forks in their hands eating from their friends’ plates. It was quite a sight to see. It was a fricken’ cake orgy.

The second fun cake related issue was that I did not feed my husband cake… I fed him cake batter! Yes, not a healthy choice and don’t try this at home if you don’t want to risk food poisoning, but my husband had fond memories of his grandmother giving him cake batter so I wanted him to have this little nod to his late nana. In the middle of the reception my mom went and made a simple butter cake batter, placed it in a beautiful glass bowl and hid it underneath the cake table for the big reveal. Right after we did the traditional cutting of the cake, I slipped my hands underneath the table and brought this batter filled bowl out. I then fed my husband his favorite treat (in a large acrylic spoon decorated by mom of course.) To say that my husband loved this surprise would be a great understatement! He walked around for the rest of the reception with bowl in hand and the biggest grin on his face.

Yup… I was clearly not the star of my wedding but I love every vivid memory of watching people go crazy over my parents’ creation, not me – the cake!

Traditional Weddings Classically Personalized

Saturday, September 5th, 2009

There is nothing wrong with what we call a “Cookie-Cutter Wedding” – a classic traditional wedding can be executed beautifully. But just like a recipe for your favorite old fashioned cookie, if you add just one special ingredient, you can make a typical cookie (I mean wedding) extra special and definitely “all yours.”

Alix and Russell wanted their traditional wedding to begin with great fanfare. I would bet there isn’t one of their wedding guests that will ever forget when two fantastic Opera Singers (hiding in the balcony) started singing “All I Ask of You,” just before the processional began. You could literally hear people gasp, whisper “Wow!” and even wipe some tears from their face. For those who knew that this couple LOVED the Phantom of the Opera, it was an extra special moment. And the nice budget news on something so special? Hiring two professional singers from the San Francisco Opera Company cost them less than $600! Even Opera Stars will moonlight when available. No harm in asking right?

Andy loved cars and Lauren wanted Andy to be one happy boy. So Lauren arranged to have a very special surprise for her groom when the “Limo” picked them up from the church to go to their reception – it was “the star car” used in Andy’s favorite movie – “Tucker – The Man and His Dreams” (if you are a car lover you love this movie!). Andy knew the car at first glance and stayed happy all day long. This classic car was a perfect backdrop for some great pictures and cost less than what you would think.

Lisa wanted a traditional wedding cake to be the centerpiece of her reception but wanted to add very personalized accents. The cake table’s tablecloth was made out of her Grandmother’s wedding dress, framed pictures of the bride’s and groom’s parents cutting their wedding cakes flanked the cake, the antique knife to cut the cake was from the groom’s great grandparents’ wedding and the cake topper was two beautiful ceramic doves that the groom’s father created. I have never seen a more meaningful cake presentation to this day.

So Experienced Brides, tell us how you made your traditional wedding classically special.

My Favorite Bride

Saturday, September 5th, 2009
Image created by: Emin Kuliyev,  Emin Photography, http://www.em34.com/

Image by: Emin Kuliyev, Emin Photography www.em34.com

As a Wedding Coordinator, probably the most common question I am asked is: “Will you tell me about the greatest wedding you’ve ever seen?” I think most people are expecting me to talk about the couture designed gowns and Waterford crystal favors – the limitless budget weddings. But the greatest wedding I’ve ever had the honor of experiencing, was Suzie and Bob’s wedding.

On Suzie and Bob’s wedding day, it rained and rained. In fact it was one of the worse floods in the history of their hometown. Suzie and Bob knew most of their 130 guests couldn’t get to the church (only 30 made it) and the caterer, photographer and DJ had all called saying it would take a miracle for them to get to their wedding site (none were able to). But Suzie and Bob decided to go ahead with their evening wedding.

The thirty guests, minister and groom waited for two hours before Suzie’s Limo arrived. Knowing where Suzie came from, I still believe her Chauffeur had to be Noah to get her there. When Suzie hurriedly got out of the car, a bicyclist rode by and sprayed a muddy mist all over her wedding dress. Personally I am amazed my heart stayed in my chest when I saw this happen. I couldn’t imagine how Suzie could still be standing. As Suzie walked toward me I thought to myself, how am I ever going to get this mud off and not ruin this dress? Out loud I said, “Suzie, let’s go into the bathroom and you can dry your hair and touch up your make-up while I clean up your dress.” Suzie took my hands and smiled, “I’ve waited three years to marry this man, I’m not waiting a minute longer.”

Suzie proceeded to the double door entrance of the sanctuary and yelled “Dad, come and get me!” Everyone clapped when they heard Suzie’s voice. Her Dad came quickly down the aisle as the bridesmaids, groomsmen, minister and groom went and stood on the altar. With no music, nor wedding party processional, Suzie, escorted by her dad, walked up the aisle, muddied dress and all. When she got to the very first aisle that had any guests in it, Suzie looked around at all her guests and said “you made it, I can’t believe you all made it, thank you so much!” Tears started to roll, but then we all “lost it” when Suzie got the first glimpse of her soon-to-be husband. She looked at Bob and then turned to her guests and said “I am the luckiest woman in the whole wide world!”

Suzie is the most amazing bride I’ve ever had the honor to meet and experience. She got it. She knew it wasn’t about the dress, the photographer, the DJ, and yes, not even about the fabulous wedding coordinator. Suzie knew that a wedding is about having the people you love surround you when you get to marry the person you will be honored to call your husband or wife. Bring this wisdom to your wedding day, and you will create a moment that you and your guests will never forget.

I wish you all true celebrations of love

P.S. Many years later, Suzie and Bob have three kids. When they talk about their wedding, they say it was the most beautiful day in their lives.

Do you have a story about a Bride who filled the room with joy? Please share!

A Potluck Wedding???

Saturday, September 5th, 2009

When you see the words “potluck” and “wedding” you don’t tend to think those words could possibly go together well. Let me tell you about Mary and Jim’s Wedding.

Mary and Jim surround themselves with “Foodies and Winos”. No one can really cook better than their own friends and they all love to show off their culinary skills.

So when Mary and Jim decided to say “I do” they asked their friends to leave the gravy boats at Macy’s and instead, “gift” them, with their favorite recipe and a plate of it to share at their wedding reception. On the response card their friends told them what they were bringing and sent a copy of the recipe. Three friends coordinated what they would need to set up a beautiful buffet that would not only show off each dish but would keep all the food at the right temperature (not only for flavor but to avoid food poisoning). They prepared a silver framed label for each dish that featured the name of the recipe and cook.

The Bride and Groom chose amazing wine to share with their guests, added a few of their own favorite recipes to the buffet and hired a “Day-of coordinator” and some party staff so they could truly enjoy their celebration. The reception was a huge success and the food… let’s just say it was one culinary orgasm after another

For a thank you gift, they sent their guests a “Wedding Cookbook,” a collection of recipes from their potluck reception. The cookbook included wedding pictures and a heart-felt thank you letter to their treasured friends.

This was such a special wedding that perfectly reflected the bride and groom and their guests. What could be better than that?

Please share your ideas on how to create a potluck worthy of a wedding day!

Keeping Your Wedding Day filled with Joy When You Have Lost a Loved One

Saturday, September 5th, 2009

Somebody you consider dear has passed; how do you honor them without minimizing the joy of your wedding day? I know these emotions. My husband died just a few years before his son’s wedding and we all were missing his presence during this milestone occasion.

When it came time for toasts, the Best Man (a wonderful wonderful person!) honored my husband, maybe even a little more than he honored the Bride and Groom. Honestly, it was too too much, and left many of us in tears; not happy tears, sad tears. I personally had to leave the reception to dry my tears and to try to shift back to a joyous disposition. It was such a sweet gesture by the best man, but truly not appropriate for a wedding day celebration.

This may sound harsh, but your wedding is not your loved one’s memorial service. This is a joyous occasion. You deserve to be happy and my gut tells me that your loved ones would not want you to shed one tear about them on your wedding day. Life is filled with much sadness so protect the good moments when you can.

So how do you respectfully acknowledge a love one without losing the joy of a moment?

1) Place their name in a special note in your wedding program (Here in our hearts we honor: …) If it is a sibling, parent or grandparent, list their names and you can add a dove, butterfly, or a cross after their name. Maybe even a little note that says: “we love that we know you are here in spirit Grandpa” (or sister or Mom, etc).

2) Place a picture of you and your loved one doing something wonderfully fun with big old smiles on your faces on a picture table that is filled with pictures of you with all those that have significance in your and your better half’s life.

3) If you are having a video montage shown at your reception – keep the pictures light and festive of those that have passed. And remember – this video is to be more about you than others. Don’t make it a memorial to your dearly departed, but don’t erase them from your memories. Make the pictures ones that will make you laugh or smile, not cry.

4) If your loved one had a particular bible verse, poem or song that you love as well, have it in your ceremony. And mention it in your wedding program but it does not have to be mentioned before the song or before the verse if that would make you or others sad.

5) Is there a piece of jewelry that you can wear that will make you feel closer to your Grandma that has passed? Is there material from her wedding dress that you can have made into a handkerchief? Can the groom wear his grandpa’s cuff links? Do you want to wear a locket with your late Mom’s picture in it?

Discuss your feelings with family and those that will be giving toasts or welcome speeches or officiating at your wedding. Let your family know how much or how little (or not at all – this is your decision) you want that special person mentioned on your wedding day. Tell them that you love those that are no longer here and think about them often, but you want to be sure that everyone can have a joy-filled, life affirming day. You set the boundaries; it is your day.

The day after my son’s wedding, I took flowers from the wedding and set them on the memorial bench donated to a park in honor of my husband’s life. I sat there for awhile, cried a little, and was very happy to know that our very special newlyweds were on their way to their Honeymoon and New Life together. That made me smile.

Joy is what your loved ones will want for you. Celebrate!

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EBs who have advice on honoring love ones without inducing tears of sorrow – please share!

Kid Friendly Weddings

Saturday, September 5th, 2009

Bride with flower girl pix-free

When I was planning my wedding I realized that there would be MANY children at my celebration and I absolutely wanted it that way! Prior to being a wedding coordinator, I was a Foster Care Coordinator for the County of Orange and many of my friends were dedicated Foster Parents. Since most of our guests were traveling over 400 miles to be with us, I wanted to be sure that parents and children alike had a great time. I think we succeeded.

We chose a very kid friendly hotel to recommend to our friends (Embassy Suites) where at the time children stayed Free and their free breakfast buffet and indoor pool was a hit for family life. We had family oriented gift baskets in each of their rooms that had very specific books and toys for each child that attended our wedding. The basket also had a list of kid friendly activities that were within 10 miles of the hotel and of course a map with all the locations highlighted.

For our wedding and reception we hired professional certified nursery school teachers. I asked my neighbors with children for their favorite nursery school teachers and met with several before hiring two wonderful young women who did an amazing job for us! With their professional help, we prepared many activities for the children to enjoy. The kid’s area was in view of the adult area (this was all held at a regional park) so everyone felt safe, but it was far enough away that the parent’s could enjoy some quality adult time. However, the children’s reception was so much fun that I went over and played for about a half hour with all the children, as did the majority of our guests.

During the ceremony we planned quiet activities. One of the teachers was reading to one group and the other nursery school teacher was managing arts and crafts with the rest of the children. We made wedding related coloring books for each child and the teachers helped them make my Husband and I congratulatory greeting cards.

The children had their own buffet that was filled with kid friendly food; bite size fresh fruit with lemon yogurt dip, veges with ranch dressing and a cheese platter with the always popular cheese fish crackers in the middle. The heart shaped crustless sandwiches were pretty tasty too. The guitarist we hired to play during our ceremony went over to the child’s area to serenade them while they ate.

The “kids” had a hula hoop contest, played a mini game of T-ball, and made wedding dresses out of Crepe and Toilet Paper. I remember looking over and seeing my beloved groom hula hooping with the biggest smile on his face and all the children falling down laughing. And of course there were bubbles, lots and lots of bubbles.

For dessert the children decorated their own cupcakes with candy hearts and they all left with goody bags that included a heart shaped cookie lollipop.

Later in the evening we brought in many pizzas to the extra “Hospitality Suite” we rented at our guests’ hotel and family and friends of all ages enjoyed talking about the day’s events before having to get the kiddos ready for bedtime. I heard that many people stayed in the hospitality suite till 4 in the morning but I was already snug as a bug with my hub far away from the hospitality room!

Two weeks later, a Friend called laughing hysterically, saying they had just gotten home from another wedding. When their child was trying to sit quietly during the ceremony (truly impossible for most 3 year olds) he yelled out “Mom this is not a wedding! This is boring! Where are the hula hoops?”

Not all weddings are intended to be so kid friendly but do consider hiring professional babysitters or teachers to help with any children that may be in attendance or traveling to your wedding with their parents. Have a supervised kids’ table at the reception that is filled with fun activities or have them stay at a family member’s home or another reserved room at your venue where they can have loads of (professionally supervised of course!) fun.

If you are as lucky as we were (and planned as much as we did), memories of children at your wedding will be some of your fondest.

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Are there any EBs out there that would like to share their ideas for Kid Friendly Weddings?

Be In The Moment

Saturday, September 5th, 2009

Bride and Groom laughing at altar

Image by Emin Kuliyev, Emin Photography - www.em34.com

There is one Wedding Coordinator Speech ninety-nine percent of all my Brides and Grooms have endured: “Be in the Moment. Every moment of this day will be so precious. Do not lose a second to worrying about “things” that really don’t matter. Be sure you focus on your mate when you say your vows, look into each other’s eyes when you dance your first dance, have a few moments alone with your parents before you drive away to your new life, etc..” Call all my past clients to hear the rest of this speech. They are tested on this before I allow them to walk down the aisle (just kidding, sort of.) Please, do as I say, not as I did!
I remember all so many moments that I lost on my wedding day. When my husband was saying his personally written vows to me, we might as well have been in a comic strip and the caption cloud above his head would have read: “Blah, blah, blah. Blah, Blah”. I saw his lips moving, I heard words coming out of his mouth, I saw our attendants and guests crying (actually sobbing). I saw our photographer crying. And me? I was thinking, “Wow, this must be good …and there’s Judy and Larry, Mark came without Lynn…and I don’t like the way they set the chairs up.” I was on sensory overload; there was just too much to wrap around my brain.
I was so jealous of one of my clients who told me that when they were up at the altar, she held her groom’s hands and said, “I feel like it’s just me and you here; it’s perfect.” Her groom agreed as he gave his bride a pre-minister-approved kiss — just between each other, not for the 250 guests that had the good fortune of catching a glimpse of two people that truly were in a state of bliss.

www.randykepple.com

www.randykepple.com

I clearly don’t have all the answers on how to be “in the moment,” but here are a few ideas that might help you:
1) Yoga. Good preparation for wedding day focus and good flexibility for the wedding night. Yoga teaches you to breathe deeply. Breathe deeply, take it all in, and feel the joy.
2) Prayer/meditation. Ask your powers that be, that your attention will be spent on those you love and not on the rubbery chicken potentially served.
3) Love Notes. Write a note to your beloved that tells him why you are honored to become his wife and what you are looking forward to as a married couple. Write notes to your parents, in-laws, bridal party and any other super significant people in your life. Share what it means to you, to be sharing your wedding day with them. Have these notes hand-delivered (good groomsmen task) on your wedding day before all the festivities begin. This begins the big day with the focus on love, gratitude and celebration.
4) Timing. Be sure you have given yourself plenty of preparation time on your wedding day. If you think it takes 1 minute to put your underclothes on, plan that it will take you twenty. It will probably take thirty. I remember a bride who stood at the mirror for thirty-five minutes in her bustier not really looking at anything– and really not able to answer anyone’s query. Somehow we all let her do this– she needed to- and we had the time. Give yourself the gift of time.
5) Good Nutrition. Eat well before you walk down that aisle! If you have nothing to sustain you for the activities ahead, you will miss so much! Protein and carbs are a must. Every two hours nibble on something; non-chocolate (don’t want chocolate to melt on your clothing!) energy bars are good for this.
6) Good Pre-planning. Great Vendors. Do not leave anything on your “to do” list for the actual day of your wedding. Your responsibilities are done – fini. Today it is all in the hands of the good vendors you hired. Give yourself credit that you have hired quality professionals and let them do what they do best. Your responsibility today is to get pampered and enjoy the ride.
7) Choose the right partner. If you are saying yes to the right person, it is a perfect day!

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Okay EBs (Experienced Brides) share with our Brides-to-be (B2Bs) what allowed you to cherish every moment of your wedding day.